Away from my family, away from the old ways, to start a life that wasn’t based on rules and obligations, but one that was based on my choices alone.
“You’re selfish.” Even now, I could hear my father’s words as I’d left home. But I tended to believe there was a distinctive line between selfishness and establishing boundaries. Others may not see it that way, but that was the problem with boundaries, wasn’t it? The people who chafed against them were likely the ones you needed them for the most.
The castle sat, ever watchful, its windows lit with warm light, a sentinel over Loren Brae. The town needed her, that much I knew, but I still hadn’t discovered the root of the magick that threaded its way through the earth here. I could feel it, out on my runs, the soft thrum of energy that told me that something more surrounded me.
The screams of the Kelpies at night could have told me the same as well.
But they were different.
Different energy, that is.
Taking a deep breath, I continued my run down the hill and over the next, drawn closer to the castle, where cardoors slammed, and laughter carried on the wind. They must be having an event of sorts, or the restaurant was particularly busy tonight. I took the path that ran the perimeter of the property, following a line of hedges, through a gathering of trees that ran parallel to a small burn, and past the construction site for the new Common Gin distillery. A group of people laughed outside the castle, and for a moment, my heart twisted. They all looked so … content … together. Though there were times I craved that togetherness, I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for it. The suffocating pressure of my family bore down on my shoulders, and I couldn’t help but attribute that same feeling to any potential groups of friends I’d make.
Frankly, I didn’t want the responsibility of answering to anyone but myself right now.
As I neared the castle, I followed the dirt path along the gardens that ran behind a tall line of hedges that hugged the drive to the castle car park. Movement through the branches caught my eye and I held my breath as a figure marched up the road, having a conversation with …a fox.
Not just any person, though. It was Faelan, and she was definitely deep in conversation with a fox. I pulled farther back into the bushes. Already I could hear Oban berating me for stalking the poor woman, but how was I to know she was going to be at the castle? Now I just had to stay as still as I could, wait until she passed, and then hightail it out of there. The fox lifted its nose and turned, staring directly through the bushes, and I stayed still, praying it didn’t draw any attention to me.
When they continued on past me, I let out my breath in a soft sigh of relief and crept down the path away from thecastle and back toward my cottage. My intention certainly hadn’t been to spy on Faelan, and now I had even more questions about her than before.
Like why was she talking to a fox? Hadn’t she told me she didn’t have any pets?
An image of her, flushed and flustered, a bruise welling on her forehead, came to my mind. I’d wanted to kiss her.
Even though the very idea of me dating a healer would send my father over the edge.
Yes, she was a healer. But so was I, wasn’t I? Even if I relied strictly on science to do so.
“They don’t judge me.”
Faelan’s words came back to me as I pounded the pavement, pushing myself hard, needing to work through why I was so attracted to this woman. There was a sweetness to Faelan, a vulnerability that I could see in my own eyes when I looked in the mirror.
The reality was outsiders recognized outsiders.
Did two outsiders make a group? Was it possible that Faelan could be my first real friend here? Even though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to her. It would be hard to be just her friend, not when her very scent made me think of long sweaty nights and my name on her lips. Groaning, I pushed harder, working to ignore the lust that ran through my body.
I was used to ignoring my needs, had done so for a couple years now since I’d discovered the last girl I’d dated had actually been a plant from my father. I should have known. She’d had a perfect pedigree, and he’d be able to boast to everyone that he’d finally made an unequaled match for hiswayward son.
Instead, I’d packed up and started my life over, needing to put space between us.
As though on command, my phone rang, and I grimaced, suspecting it was my father calling.
Instead, my mum’s name lit up on the screen and I slowed to a walk just down the road from my cottage and swiped the screen.
“Mum, how are you?”
“There’s my sweet boy. You sound out of breath?”
The question hung, and a corner of my mouth turned up in a wry smile.
“You caught me at the end of my run. Everything good?” I could never quite calm down in a conversation with my mother until I knew she was well.
I always wanted her to be safe.
“Of course, everything’s just fine. Your father’s away in surgery, and your brothers are all doing well enough.”
“But?” I could hear the hesitation in her voice.
