I grin. “Fine. But in my defense, I was easily manipulated by my sister.”
We both laugh, the kind that bubbles up from the belly. It’s the first time I’ve talked about Opal’s side of the room without choking up. Something about Phern being here makes it feel a little less fragile. A little more alive.
Phern crosses the room and sits on the edge of Opal’s old bed, brushing her hand over the quilt.
“This feels like you,” she says softly. “And her.”
I nod, throat thick. “It was us,” I whisper. “For a long time, it was everything.”
She looks up at me. “It still is.”
Phern smooths her hand across Opal’s quilt again, her fingers catching on the worn stitching of a butterfly patch near the corner.
“She had good taste,” she says quietly.
“She was loud about it,” I reply with a smile. “Everything had to have sparkle or denim or both. You should’ve seen what she wore to our eighth-grade graduation. Tried to get me to match, like we were Britany and Justin, circa 2001.”
Phern laughs under her breath, but there’s something heavier in her eyes now. “I wish I could’ve met her.”
“She would’ve loved you,” I say, no hesitation. “She had a nose for bullshit and loyalty. You would’ve been instant friends. Probably would've ganged up on me.”
“Definitely would have,” she teases.
I sit down on the bed across from her, curling my legs underneath me. “I miss her every day.”
Phern nods. “I can tell.”
“I spent so long trying to be the one who didn’t fall apart,” I whisper. “After she died, I just… held everything. For my parents. For myself. For what was left.”
“And then Liam,” she says softly.
I nod. “And then Liam.”
The air shifts a little, sadness curling in the corners like dusk.
“I didn’t mean to fall for him,” I admit. “I just did. And when it was good, it was so good. But when it started unraveling—” I shake my head. “I couldn’t catch it fast enough.”
Phern looks at me for a long beat, then says, “Do you ever wish you’d stayed quiet? Not told him about the babies?”
“No,” I whisper. “I wish he’d heard me and I definitely wish he’d believed me. But I don’t regret telling him.”
She nods slowly, her voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what he’s doing, Olive. I don’t know why he hasn’t come after you. But I do know he’s miserable. And so are you.”
I bite my lip, the weight of that truth pressing down on my chest.
“But even if he never comes,” she continues, “you’ll still have something beautiful. You’ve already made something beautiful. That’s what Opal would’ve seen. Not what you lost but what you’re still building.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I don’t bother to blink them away. “I’m so scared.”
Phern reaches across the space between us and takes my hand. “Then be scared. And keep going anyway. You have to. We both do.”
I look up at her in question, but all she does is shake her head, like she’s not ready to talk about whatever sent her running to Kansas.
We sit like that for a while with our hands clasped. Just two girls who’ve seen love twist and tangle and try to undo them. But we’re still here.
And sometimes, that’s enough.
25
