As Ava is assembling favors, I see her face shift into sadness. It stops me in my tracks. I stand up and round the table, holding out my hand for her to take. She hesitates for only a second, then lifts herself out of the chair. All I know how to do is pull her into my arms while she cradles her head on my chest. “Yes.” I need to comfort her, touch her, and hug her. Seeing her eyes fill with tears tugs at my heart, and her being in my arms feels right. It’s like my body knows what she needs…and maybe it’s also what I need.
Her arms snake around my waist, and she pulls me closer, holding on for dear life. The smell of something fruity…it must be her shampoo. I breathe her in and then massage her head, being careful not to mess up her hair. My hand consoles her, moving along her back. She fits right here. “Everything will be okay.”
The way her face lifts to mine as she peers at me through those thick lashes that frame her hazel eyes. They sparkle when the sunlight hits them. She’s like an angel.
“I know, it’s just…” She buries her head back in between my chest and arm.
All the favors are assembled. I look around, and everyone is busy doing their tasks. “Want to take a walk?” I ask her while still bringing my hands around, trying to wrap her in all of me.
That makes her laugh. “Is it Groundhog Day?”
My low, deep laugh rattles through me. “Yes, yes, it is.”
“Then okay.” She shifts her body enough so we stroll down the path together. I’m not letting her go.
We reach our bench. Speaking of, if all this works out one day, I need this bench at my house. I want to put it down by the water and hug her every chance we get. I’ll talk to Dane about it.
I bring her flush to my chest, holding her. Tears dried up, and her eyes shimmering at me. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”
She laughs and spreads her fingers as she holds my neck. She clears her throat and gazes out onto the water. “All the wedding stuff just hit me out of nowhere.”
I reach over and cup her chin, pulling it to me so I can see her again. “How can I help?” It seems like there’s something up. I can sense it, feel it in my body.
“Why don’t we have a seat?” I gesture toward the bench as I lower myself onto it.
She steps over to the bench and brings herself down, and I do the same. I let the silence envelop us as we gaze out onto the water. It’s unexpected when she reaches over and holds my hand. While I take a glimpse at her, all I see is olive skin, dark and smooth. Those kissable lips are poking outward, like she’s deep in thought.
I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the back of her hand. Her head twists to the side. “I was almost engaged once, a long time ago.”
My kisses on her hand halt. I whisper, “I’m here for you. Anything you want to share, I’m here.”
THIRTY-NINE
Ava
Every time I’m around him, he calms my chaos and the need to run. “Weddings are a beautiful way to share your love with those around you, family and friends. Marriage, on the other hand, is hard—so hard that I’ve had no interest in getting involved with anyone, especially after what I saw at home as a teenager and then with Sam. He proposed to me and I said no, then left.” The prickling behind my eyes threatens to give me away, eyes filling up, not even sure why. My body shivering, so many feelings rolling through me. I should have told him that night, but I didn’t.
He stays quiet, a little rigid, and rubs his chest. I shift my body to face him. “You’re quiet.”
“I’m processing what you just said. It hit me hard right here.” He continues to rub the center of his chest, and a heavy sigh leaves his mouth. “Do you remember what I told you about Katrina?”
I nod my head. “Yes, it was hard for me to say something because I know what she did, and how she up and left. I don’t want to hurt you like she did. You’ve put yourself out there. I don’t want to be the one who does anything to hurt you.”
“Every time I pulled away from you, it was like I was being yanked back into your orbit. It was hard to stay away from you, knowing full well that you’ve lived a nomadic life for so long. If you stay, will you just want to eventually leave…leave me? My greatest fear is you leaving me like Katrina did, no, it would be worse. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” His eyes stare straight out over the water; he clears his throat. “ So tell me about this Sam guy.” His voice is low and gravelly.
Sharing is not my strong suit. I’d rather be in a place where no one knows me, and I don’t have to tell them anything. I could figure it out as I go, if I wanted to. Here, with Kai, my heart skips a beat whenever he’s around.
Ever since we were here last and our skin touched, our connection has grown stronger. All I want to do is tell him all my secrets—well, there’s only this that I need to get off my chest.
His shoulder meets mine as he says, “Don’t hold back on me. It’s important we talk about this. I can see it written all over your face.” He kisses the back of my hand again, encouraging me to tell him.
My heart hammers in my chest, and I can’t believe he has said nothing about my hand being clammy. “When you put it that way…Sam was my high school sweetheart. We dated for over two years, including a few months in college. I was in a relationship with him, and I thought I was in love with him. We’d beat the odds. My dad's leaving my mom was devastating for me. The broken family, the broken relationships—it was all too much. I honestly don’t know how my sister came out unscathed from the whole thing.”
I take a deep breath, and for a minute, we sit quietly listening to the boats on the water; the music muffled in the background from Dane’s yard. He pulls me even closer with his arm around my shoulders and squeezes me tight. “We may have more in common than you think.”
Turmoil swirling in his eyes as they meet mine. Our chests rise and fall together. “Yeah.”
“But you finish.” He gestures with his hand in the air.
