“You don’t look okay.” He brings his hand to my cheek, brushing the back of his fingers over it. My eyes close, and I bring my hand to cover his.
We stand here for a few extra beats before I open my eyes and say, “I’ll be okay. Promise.”
“Okay, I’m not completely buying it. I’ll text you when I get home. Check your phone is on do not disturb.” He holds my chin between his thumb and finger. Dipping his head down to swipe his lips over mine tentatively, seeing if I’ll allow him. It’s everything I want. I’d give anything for him to stay a little longer.
I reach up on my tiptoes, my arms draping around his neck, and I kiss him back. Fireworks explode behind my eyes and throughout my body as my thumbs rub his neck. I don’t want him to leave.
We say our goodbyes. He opens the door, gazes back at me, smiles brightly, and walks out, closing it behind him.
My body backs up to sit on the couch, pinching myself that this is real life. Yup, the man that I’ve tried to deny myself just left.
Lia walks into the room and sits down next to me. “Ah, you okay? Of course you aren’t…” She brings me into a side hug.
The fullness seeps into all the gaps in my heart, like warm honey, melding them back together, making me whole again. “I’m going to miss him. My heart is achy.” I move my hand over my heart and push on it.
Still holding me, she says, “Yeah, Ava, I’m sure it is.”
My body shifts in her direction, and I throw my arms around her. “I don’t like feeling like this.”
Rubbing her hands over my back, she sighs. “That’s your sign.”
“Why are there so many signs?” I mumble as my body slumps into her. “There’s already too many.”
“It seems like the universe needs to hit you over the head a few times to get your attention. You’ll need a few more, if I’m a betting woman,” she clears her throat, trying not to laugh.
The TV is still playing in the background, the smell of popcorn lingers in the air, and a tear slips from my eye. I let it run down my cheek as my nose tickles. Abruptly, I pull away. Nope, there will be no crying over some guy. Not happening.
She stares at me. “It’s healthy to cry and let it all out.”
“Hell will freeze over the day I cry about some…guy.” Stumbling over my words, I struggle between letting go of control and holding onto it for dear life. I choose the latter and sit up straight. “By the time I get back, he may not want to see me.”
Lia chuckles. “First, hell must have frozen over.”
“Shut up.” I swipe more tears from my cheeks, trying not to laugh again.
Then she scoffs at me. “If you think the guy who walked out that door just now is not going to want to see you…Wow, you are more blind than I thought.” She points to the door. “I’d bet money on it. That guy will never forget you. I see it written all over his face and eyes, Nothing but yearning.”
I shrug, trying to blow it off. “I don’t know.”
“You can’t hide from me.” She pokes my ribs and leans in.
“Ouch.” I whip my head around to her.
“Denial works every time…” Lia stands up and walks out of the room, leaving me with all my feelings that I want to ignore.
FIFTEEN
Kai
The trip to see Ava was invigorating. I thought about what I want in my life, and she is at the top of the list, along with making some career changes. Big ones. While on the plane ride, I searched for an office to lease. That quick trip was a life-changer in so many ways.
I practiced real estate law when I first came out of school. It wasn’t late nights and weekend work. Not that I can’t grind with the best of them, but it’s different. Logan and Dane—they love their jobs and their firm. The excitement on their faces and the adrenaline coursing through them are on a whole other level than what I feel. Sometimes it’s the dread of another case to work through, late nights, and weekends.
It's time to open my own firm, real estate, and family estate planning. When I helped a few of my dad’s friends revise their life estates over the past couple of years, it gave me quiet joy to know they were in good hands.
I have to grow some hair on my balls and tell Logan my plan. I won’t leave them high and dry; that’s not up to my standards of professionalism and integrity. I know they both will be supportive and throw me some referrals. They’ve become friends, especially Logan. He and I work like a well-oiled machine.
I write out my business plan, search for space to lease, and wake up tomorrow morning prepared to have the conversation with Logan and Dane.
