“When does it stop, though?”
Branson squeezed his arm. “Loving them?”
“No. Being scared for them because of other people.” Tarius sat up, old hurts bubbling up without permission. “Linus was four fucking years old when he was kidnapped. Layne was six. Kids should never have to go through that.”
“Big brothers shouldn’t have to go through that, either. Being petrified for our siblings. But that’s part of being a big brother, isn’t it?”
“I guess. But my goddess, it keeps happening. Everything with Layne and Peyton. Everything with Linus right now. And then there’s Demir, and all those complications that started when he met Brandt.”
Branson pulled him into a warm hug, and Tarius relaxed against his chest. “You are tired and stressed, so you get a pass tonight. But Tar, you are an amazing brother. You know you are. You get to grump and grouse for…I don’t know, six more hours. Then you are going to focus on supporting Linus and your parents through the next couple of weeks.”
“How on earth can you just tell me to do that?”
“Because I’m your best friend, and I love you.” Branson pressed a warm, soft kiss to his forehead, and Tarius sighed. “Do you believe me?”
“I do.” Tarius pressed his face into Branson’s neck, adoring the younger man for his constant support and generosity. “I love you, too.” And not just platonically anymore. He found comfort with Branson unlike anything he’d experienced before. Home was right beside him, exactly like this. “Can we stay here forever?”
“Sure.” Branson gently massaged the back of his neck and scalp, a gesture both calming and claiming. “Forever’s a long time, though. Eventually, one of us is going to have to pee.”
Tarius laughed out loud—the first real belly laugh he’d had in ages. “Yeah, we don’t want to soak your couch.” He raised his head, unsure what he was going to say, and then it didn’t matter, because Branson kissed him.
Surprise and delight collided in that kiss and tickled down Tarius’s spine. He’d been kissed before, many times, and no kiss had felt so precious and perfect. The kiss he’d always wanted,had craved for his entire adult life. A soft, curious kiss that didn’t try to take, only gave and asked. Tarius kissed him back, equally curious and beyond delighted to have finally discovered this new, wonderful thing with this man.
The kiss seemed to both last forever and end too soon, and Tarius leaned back to take a good breath. Branson’s green eyes shined with happiness, but the quirk of his lips hinted at shyness. At uncertainty that wouldn’t do. Tarius kissed him again, loving the warm press of lips, the way they existed in the simplicity of the kiss without any drive to do more. To go further.
There was no need when this was exactly what he wanted. Everything he’d ever needed.
When the second kiss ended on necessary gasps for air, Tarius asked, “This is okay, right?”
“More than okay.” Branson rubbed his nose against Tarius’s. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while. I wasn’t sure you did.”
“I did. Do. I was a little scared of ruining our friendship.”
“Don’t be scared. I was, but I’m not anymore.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Last weekend…we almost kissed then, right?”
Tarius smiled. “Yeah, I think so. I wanted to kiss you. It felt weird, though, so I hesitated.”
“Because you were the guy who told me what asexuality means?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want you to think I was lying or tricking you.”
“I never thought that, and I still don’t.” Branson traced his fingers down Tarius’s neck, across his clavicle, to rest in the middle of his chest. “Everything you told me, all the processing I’ve done this past year…I don’t know how to describe it, but it makes me trust this more. That my feelings for you have nothing to do with sex. It’s all emotional and…you. Just you, Tarius. I know I’m a lot younger than you, but I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Branson, you’re older than my parents were when they first mated. You know your heart better than anyone else. I’m just glad I listened to my gut and approached you at that party. I am so thankful to have this with you. And I don’t want to put any pressure on you, not about anything.”
“I don’t feel pressured. I think that’s why I trust what I feel with you. Ihavefelt pressured in the past. I’ve done things I wasn’t sure I wanted to do because of that pressure. I’ve never felt it with you, though, Tarius. I feel the opposite of pressure when I’m with you.”
Tarius threaded his fingers through Branson’s and squeezed. “Who pressured you?”
Branson grunted. “Weirdly enough, I’ve always felt the most pressure from myself. To be the best brother, the best son, the best student. Because of my origins, you know? But I was so adrift in secondary school, because of dating expectations, and…when I was seventeen, I had sex with the guy I was dating even thought I didn’t really want to.”
Tarius swallowed a growl. “Did he force you?”
“Goddess, no. It was more like me wanting to just get it over with. Hoping it would be this amazing experience like everyone said. And all my younger friends were getting to that age when sex was going to be a thing, and I was the oldest. It seemed like something I should do, especially if they had questions. I wanted Caden and Emory to come to me if they didn’t feel comfortable asking our parents stuff, so I needed experience.” Branson scowled. “Sounds so stupid now.”
