You’re stirring up a can of worms, his grandfather would have said, and the old man would have been right in a way. Grayson had no desire to make things harder than they had to be.
But in his heart of hearts, he knew that keeping quiet wasn’t right. Leo’s birth father had a right to know abouthim if he didn’t already. Brianna had the right to change her mind about leaving Leo with Grayson.
And of course Leo had the right to know his own story, no matter how it turned out.
So he’d signed the papers with a shaking hand and pushed them back to Levi, praying it was the right decision.
“It’s going to be okay,” Levi told him. “However it all turns out. You’re doing what’s best for Leo, and that’s what matters.”
Grayson had offered Levi a handshake as he left the office, but the other man had pulled him into a quick hug.
“I know what this feels like,” he said quietly.
And Grayson figured his friend pretty muchdid,after adopting his own beautiful daughter last year.
Heading out to his car, Grayson had seen Levi’s wife, Lily, with little Flora, coming home from a walk in the snow.
It’ll be all right,he’d told himself firmly, giving Lily a half-hearted wave back when she spotted him.
Losing Leo was the worst thing he could imagine. So why had he broken down last night over a memory, yet he was holding it together for something that could be happening right now?
But the answer came to him immediately.
Because Leo needs me to be strong.
There was nothing he wouldn’t do for his boy. Nothing.
As he drove, the suburbs outside the window melted into farmland, wide swathes of snowy white reaching tothe gray of the sky, punctuated only by bare trees and sweet little farmhouses with twinkling Christmas lights.
He couldn’t help thinking about the tree waiting back at the house, and the garland Evangeline had already decorated and hung on the mantel.
She’s so perfect. Why did I ruin it?
But she thought those medals made him some kind of hero. And as hard as he was falling for Evangeline, he couldn’t just let her think he was something he wasn’t.
Talking to her had been oddly healing. The few times he’d voiced his guilt to anyone else, he’d been fed platitudes like,It wasn’t your fault, orYou did your best.
But Evangeline seemed to understand that his burden wasn’t lessened by the fact that he wasn’t the only one to blame. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she felt his pain, that shehonoredit. She didn’t question why he would carry the memory of Isaac Jones with him wherever he went. She understood instinctively.
The winding country road finally led him back to the house that hadn’t felt like a home until Leo and Evangeline had made it one. Lights glowed in the nursery window and he smiled at the idea that Evangeline was up there right now with Leo, probably to change his diaper.
It was so nice to have another person in the house—not just to help with things like diapers, but to appreciate Leo’s funny way of “talking” and share the wonder over his happiest moments.
He knew he should temper his expectations, but he couldn’t help picturing the two of them marveling over Leo’s first words, first steps, first day of school…
What if I get to keep him? What if she stays?
What if her heart is as kind as her eyes and her words?
What if she could find something to love in a man like me?
He parked the SUV and headed into the house, finding himself jogging up the steps in his eagerness to get to the two most important people in his world.
He was hanging his coat in the hallway when he heard a man’s voice.
It was tinny and at first he couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. The television wasn’t on and it wasn’t the radio.
Following the sound back to the kitchen, he found the baby monitor sitting on the kitchen counter.
