“Of course,” Grayson said, opening the back door for her.
The sound of Leo’s unhappy whimpers twisted his heart.
“Hi, Leo,” Evangeline said softly. “I’m so sorry you have to be in the car right now. We’ll be home soon.”
The boy went silent for a moment, as if considering.
“I have something for you,” she continued. “Maybe it will seem interesting.”
“I’ll just get your things,” Grayson told her, busying himself carrying her shopping bags to the back of the SUV and tucking them all safely into place so they wouldn’t tip over.
She had certainly bought enough stuff. The ladies atPura Vidawould appreciate it. He knew they did a lot of business in the summer and at Christmas, but right nowthey were probably hoping to move some of their fall inventory. Still, it was a lot.
He could certainly afford it though, and he couldn’t argue that she looked beautiful in her new clothes. He thought fondly to himself about buying her more nice things, and then winced.
She wasn’t here to model cute outfits for him. She was here to take care of Leo, and he’d do well to remember that.
By the time he had her things packed away, she was settled into the passenger seat, but something felt off.
But that wasn’t it. It took a few more seconds for him to figure out what it was as he got behind the wheel.
“You feel better, huh, buddy?” Grayson said softly to his son, relieved that he was strapped into the car, but not crying. That was rare. Normally he fussed until the motion rocked him to sleep.
But when he glanced in the rearview mirror, instead of just looking at the back of the rear-facing seat he saw his son’s little face, eyes wide and surprised, reflected in the mirror.
“Hi,” Grayson said to him, his face breaking into a big smile. “I canseeyou.”
“Ahh—ooooh,”Leo replied, his chubby cheeks dimpling.
“He likes the mirror,” Evangeline said happily. “He loves you, so he feels happy when he can see you.”
Her words were so optimistic, but they cut deep.
She had it half right, just on instinct, but she had missed one crucial detail that turned a happy idea into one that broke his heart all over again.
It wasn’t that Leo was happy when he could see his daddy.
It was that he wasterrifiedwhen he couldn’t.
The poor little fellow was too young to know or remember what had happened with his mother. But it was clear that he had some kind of feelings about being abandoned. And it was plain as day now to Grayson that his cries in the car hadn’t been from discomfort.
Leo cried because he didn’t want to be left behind.
Suddenly Grayson felt like he was being strangled. His skin burned and he struggled to pull in a breath.
You’re okay,he told himself as his heart thundered like a runaway stallion.You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.
But the darkness was trying to push in from all around him, crushing his chest.
You’re okay.
After a moment, he felt the air entering his lungs again.
He stole a glance over at Evangeline, wondering if she had seen him spinning out. But she was smiling and waggling her eyebrows at Leo in the mirror, and seemingly hadn’t noticed a thing.
A little of the weight of worry lifted, but he still didn’t feel like himself. It was taking all he had not to rub and claw at his scars.
He started the engine, hoping he could somehow get them home without having to explain himself.
