“Right. Okay. It was her twenty-eighth birthday a couple of months earlier. I missed it because I was away.”
“Did you send her a card?” I think I probably know the answer to that already, but I ask anyway. I trust Ewan, and I’ve already seen the evidence of Ed’s deceit with my own eyes, but still I need to hear him dispel any last shred of doubt that might remain.
“Of course.”
“What did it say on it?”
“How the fuck should I remember? It’s over a year ago now. Anyway, you won’t have found that. It was an e-card. Unless she printed it off, I suppose, though I don’t see why she would.”
“An e-card? You sent an e-card? Not a proper one, a black card with a heart on it? A card that said on the front that it was to the one I love?”
“No. Faith, what did you find?”
I drag in a long, deep breath, then spit out the words quickly. “It was from Ed. I recognised his handwriting. Ed sent Caroline a card. He said he loved her.”
Ewan’s muffled curse draws on vocabulary he normally reserves for the bedroom. Or the dungeon. I remain silent, let the bizarreness of all this sink in for both of us.
As if our lives were not already hopelessly tangled by fate, that this final, cruel blow should land now.
“Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?”
“It’s his handwriting. He’s written inside that he loves her, that he wants to be with her.”
“What exactly does it say? Do you have it there with you?”
“Yes.”
“Read it out to me. Now.” His tone has hardened. This is his dom voice, and my emotional response is instant.
I open the card, though the words are etched on my memory. I have no need to read them, but I do anyway. “For my dearest, beloved Caro, on your birthday. I love you, and I can’t wait until we can be together for good. Yours always. E.” I pause, then, “It’s his writing. No mistake about that.” Then, in a whisper, “Did you know?”
“No, I fucking didn’t.”
“Wouldn’t she have told you? I mean, if you weren’t exclusive? You wouldn’t have minded if she slept with someone else, so why would she keep it from you?”
“I wouldn’t have minded for me, but I’d have been fucking furious for you.”
“You didn’t know me then.”
“I knewofyou. I knew Ed was married. Carrie would have known full well I’d never stand for her screwing around with my next-door neighbour. I wouldn’t have tolerated her dumping on my own doorstep. Literally.”
“So that’s why she hid the card then. So you wouldn’t find out.” I’m starting to piece bits of this together.
“Maybe. Where did you find it?”
“In the bottom drawer of her dressing table. Under some magazines.”
Ewan says nothing for a few seconds. I can hear his low breathing on the other end of the line, as though he’s considering carefully what to say next. “Faith, I always try to avoid saying anything negative about Ed. He was your husband, and I know you loved him even though I wasn’t fond of him. But… you know better than anyone that he was a womaniser. He flirted with any woman he saw, especially if they encouraged him… Could this have been just more of that? It might not mean anything. Not really. Just a bit of flirting gone too far.”
I’d already explored that possibility, but in my gut I don’t accept it. Hearing the suggestion stated out loud by Ewan further convinces me. I can tell by his voice he doesn’t believe it either. I don’t answer him. There is no answer. Ewan picks up the theme again.
“Did you ever see anything, anything at all to make you suspicious? Ed wasn’t exactly the soul of discretion.”
“No. Nothing.” I can hear the hitch in my voice. In moments I’ll be in tears.
“Baby…” Ewan has heard it too. The compassion in that one word almost melts my heart.
“I wish you were here.” My tears are flowing now, unheeded down my cheeks.
