“You know,” I said, my voice a little shaky. “You owe me a long, lingering kiss good night.” My whole body heated as soon as the words left my lips.Did I really just say that?Quade looked at me, and his eyes dipped low.
“You makin’ it real hard to be respectful, beautiful. You want a gentleman, or you want me buried so deep in you it eases every ache you got?”
My breath hitched.
“You different, Noa, unlike any woman I’ve ever encountered,” he added, his eyes locked on mine. “I’m tryna handle you different.”
I swallowed. Now my panties were wet. I was no longer in control.
“Maybe I don’t want to be. Maybe I just want to be handled like a slut and then held with care.” I leaned in and placed my lips on his before quickly pulling back. His hand found the side of my face, and he pulled me back into his lips. I shifted closer and pressed my palm to his chest.
“Hold on,” he said against my mouth. “We ain’t gotta?—”
“I know,” I cut him off and climbed into his lap slowly, carefully, easing one leg across his thighs until I was straddling him. I settled in, mindful of the flare threatening to rise in my joints. His hands hovered near my waist like he wasn’t sure what to do.
“I want this,” I whispered. “I don’t want to feel fragile. I want you to bury yourself inside me, like you would do any other beautiful woman sitting on your lap.”
“Ain’t nothing wrong with being fragile, baby. The right hand will know how to protect your softness and unravel you at the same time.” My breath hitched, and I could see the moment all the restraint left his body, and his hands finally found my hips. “Can I unravel you, Noa baby?”
“Yes.” I rolled my hips in his lap.
“Tell me if anything feels uncomfortable,” he said, voice low, fingers brushing under my shirt and caressing my nipples. “You say stop, we stop. All the way. Got me?”
“Got you.”
“In fact, pick a word. Something random. You say it, I stop automatically.”
“Like a safe word?” I narrowed my eyes at him. The way he handled me was mesmerizing.
“Yeah, like a safe word,” he confirmed. It only took me a second to think before I was blurting out the first thing that came to my head.
“Tempo.”
“Tempo?” he repeated, and I nodded. “You say it, and I stop.”
“Okay.” We kissed again, deeper this time. One hand slid up my back, the other down my thigh, gripping gently, like he knew how much I could handle. Heat pooled low in my belly, and his lips left mine to trail down my jaw, to the curve of my neck.
“Ooh!” My head fell back, and a breathy moan escaped my lips. His fingers found the hem of my dress that was already rolling over my thick thighs.
“Can I?” he asked, and I nodded as he peeled it up slowly, mindful of my limitations. I raised my arms as he lifted the fabric over my head. When it cleared my head, my arms dropped back down to my side. He just stared at me. His eyes roamed over my lupus scars, not with pity, but with awe, like he was seeing a new side of me he loved.
“Damn, you so fucking beautiful.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss to the scar near my collarbone, then another along my shoulder, where this disease had made its permanent impression on my body. “I want to know all there is to know about you, Noa.” He continued laying a trail of kisses down my body. He didn’t avoid the parts of me I was most insecure about. It was like he was worshipping them, worshipping me.
I let my body relax into him in a way it hadn’t in years, and suddenly, I reached beneath me for his zipper. The bulge in his pants had been speaking to me all night, and I was ready to free him. He assisted me in undoing his zipper, and with one swiftmotion, he lifted me just enough to slide his pants and boxers to his ankles. My eyes traveled to his dick so fast I was almost ashamed.Damn. My mouth watered as he gripped himself. It was thick, veiny, beautiful, and ready for me. The saying eyes bigger than your belly definitely rang true here because I didn’t know how my sickly ass was about to take all of that.
He paused, eyes flicking around like he was looking for something. A wrapper, maybe. A warning.
“I’m on birth control,” I said softly, lifting my arm to show the faint bump beneath my skin. “Implant. I’m good.”
He nodded, then held up his phone, showing his MyChart. “Clean,” he said. “Got checked last month, just in case you ever… let me get this close.”
My laugh caught in my throat. “You planned ahead?”
“For you?” he murmured, dipping closer. “Always.”
“I can grab my phone and show you my results.” I attempted to move, but he held me there.
“You don’t gotta move. I trust you. You sure?” he asked as he hoovered me over his dick. “I meant what I said. One word from you, I stop. Use the safe word.” I nodded, already breathless. His thumb brushed my lips. “Say it.”
