Several hours and three double shots of espresso later, I drop my pencil on the sketching table I had delivered yesterday and look up from my current project. Numbers and perfectly straight lines look back at me after hours of being hunched over the wooden easel. After running into Noelle outside of the coffee shop, I immediately came home and threw myself into work as a distraction from what she said to me.
‘I don’t care why you’re here. Honestly, I only care about how soon you’ll be leaving.’
I know how much I hurt her when I broke us up but I didn’t think she’d still be this pissed at me all this time later. I guess I wasn’t sure what to expect when I saw her again but it certainly wasn’t the welcome home she gave me today.
Rolling my neck, I push up from my stool and wobble a little as the blood rushes back into my legs. My left foot is half asleep from how I’d been leaning over the table and putting all my weight on it. Shaking it out, I look around the tiny cabin trying to decide what to do when a knock comes at my door. Limping to open it, I smile widely when I’m met with the face of one of my oldest friends.
“I’m not interrupting some sort of creative outburst, amI?” Chris asks, raising a pack of beers up to eye-level from his hip.
“Not at all, come on in,” I offer, stepping to one side so he can enter.
He and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. His family owns the largest Christmas tree farm on this side of Vermont. Having worked on the farm his entire life, he had no issue getting me set up in one of the cabin rentals they have on the property tucked away amongst the trees. He’s a lifer of Evergreen—one of those people who’s never left, even if he’s wanted to for years. He didn’t even leave when it was time for us to go to college. He opted to get his associate’s degree online instead so he could help his old man run the business. I always thought it was crazy how he refused to leave this place. Especially when I saw how badly he wanted to so many times over the years. He seems happy enough, though, which is what matters.
Stepping inside, he leans over to peer at my work in progress. He pushes his eyebrows up and frowns at the sketch as if he has any idea what he’s supposed to be looking at.
“What do you think?”
“Meh, I could do that if I needed to,” he replies nonchalantly. “You aren’t as special as people like to think you are.”
“I’m so glad I have a friend like you who always knocks my ego down a few pegs when I need it,” I say, taking the beer he’s offering me. We laugh and move to the living room, taking a seat on the couch and small lovechair respectively.
“So, how’s it feel being back in Evergreen? I bet you can count on one hand everything that’s changed,” he starts before taking a pull of his beer.
I scoff. “I can’t count a single thing that’s changed becausenothinghas changed.”
“That’s not true,” he argues, pointing afinger at me. “The twinkle lights this year run off of solar power and are asoft yellowinstead of the usual LED lights we used to use.”
“I’m sure that was the talk of the town for a few days.”
“Try a few weeks,” he deadpans. “All this stupid town does is decorate and celebrate obscure holidays,” he murmurs.
“Then why do you stay?” My hand waves out to the side of me as I ask the question I’ve been wondering the answer to for far too long.
He pauses and drops his eyes to the floor before shrugging. “Because where else would I go?”
We exchange a glance for a moment as a thought pops into my head. One that I’m safe to think about but would never say out loud. That the real reason Chris has never left isn’t because he doesn’t have anywhere to go but because he’s afraid of what’s out there. Evergreen is safe, sheltered, and he’s too afraid to leave that comfort.
“I saw Noelle today,” I offer, breaking the awkward tension that’s filled the space between us. “In town.”
He groans loudly and drops his head behind him.
“What?” I cry out.
“Pleasedon’t tell me you’re thinking about going there? You broke that girl’s heart when you both left for college and I still don’t think she’s put it back together yet.” He gives me a stern look from the chair he’s sitting in.
“I didn’t say anything aboutgoing there, I only said that I saw her in town,” I try to explain.Okay, so maybe part of me hoped I would be able to go there before I saw her today. Now I’m pretty sure I’ll be lucky if I run into her again at all.
“Yeah, but I know you, Nick. You were going to say that you saw her, and how she looks good, and then you were going to ask me if I know if she’s seeing anyone. Well I don’t know if she is or not, but what Ido knowis that you’renotgoing to be the one she’s seeing while you’re home. You leave her alone; just stay away from her entirely.”
“It’s a small town, there’s only so much I can do to avoid people around here,” I remind him, suddenly feeling defensive.
“Then use your fucking eyes and when you see her around, you turn around and go the opposite way. Got it?” He’s pointing a finger at me, the rest of his fingers wrapped around the neck of his beer bottle. He’s never sounded so serious about something in his life it’s almost concerning.
Swallowing hard, I look around the room before bringing my gaze back to him.
“You don’t think she’s still not over things, do you?” I ask as the sinking feeling of guilt creeps into my gut.
“Just stay away from her,” he says sternly.
