“Do you want it to be it?” I raise a brow at her.
She bites back a smirk as she presses her finger into my cheek. “Do you want it to be it?”
“No, but I also don’t want you to regret anything later.”
“Who says I’m going to be the one to regret it?”
“Me, because I know you,” I say easily before pressing my lips to her forehead. “I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and wish we hadn’t crossed this line. Because once we cross it?—”
“Things get way more complicated,” she finishes.
I nod. I can see her mind moving behind her eyes, trying to figure out if she can handle it if we go any further than this. The last thing I want is for her to wish we hadn’t, so I make the decision on her easy.
“Let’s cool off and think about it. When you’re ready, you come to me.”
“What about you?” she asks, her voice small.
I already know I’m in love with you so making love is never something I’ll regret.
“I’m not worried about me,” I lie. I push myself back and reach for her clothes to hand them to her. Glancing outside, I notice how dark it’s gotten and expect to see several inches of snow on the ground, maybe even ice. “I still think you should stay here tonight. It looks nasty out there. I’d feel better if youwent home in the morning; I’ll drive you if the roads are good. If not, I’ll walk you home.”
She’s pushed herself up and slipped her underwear back on. Glancing out the window, she brings her eyes back to me. “Yeah, okay. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”
“You can have the bed,” I protest.
“That’s fine, I’m okay on the couch. You keep your bed, I’ll be okay, really. Besides, sleeping in front of the fireplace is nice.”
“Okay, but I’m giving you a shirt to wear so you don’t have to sleep in your uncomfortable work clothes.”
She smiles. “I would appreciate that.”
Once we both get cleaned up and I give her a shirt to slip on, I stand in the doorway of my bedroom, ready to give her the living room for the rest of the night. It’s a little before nine but I also remember that she likes to go to bed early so I don’t want to keep her up.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I say, leaning against the doorframe.
“I’ll be here.” She shrugs from the couch. She’s curled up in a blanket and has a couple of the pillows from the bed I gave her to sleep with.
“Come get me if you need anything, okay?”
She nods and gives me a tight-lipped smile. “I will, Nick. Thanks.”
I stare at her for a beat longer before turning into my room and closing the door behind me. Leaning against it, I crush my eyes closed and wish something crazy I wasn’t such a good guy.
CHAPTER 19
Noelle
Falling asleep knowing what he could do to me with only a few fingers and his tongue isnothow I thought I would end my day. Honestly, I expected to go home, rot on the couch until Eve came home, and watch the snow fall until I fell asleep. But that?
I want more of that even if it means I never end up on Santa’s nice list again.
I fell asleep for a few hours but the recurring dream of what it would be like to have him completely for the first time in what might as well be forever is keeping me awake. It’s quiet throughout the cabin with the expectation of the burning fire and the occasional cracks and pops coming from it. Reaching for my phone, I check the time and see that it’s nearly one in the morning. The snow is still drifting down from the sky, piling up outside in fresh heaps of powdery whiteness. Tomorrow the town will sparkle and look brand new like it always does when it snows for the first time.
Rolling over on my side, I try my best to push the thought of him between my legs out of my brain but I can’t. It’s likemy body has gotten a small taste and is now starving for the full meal.
What’s one time?The question pops into my head again.I mean,technically, we didn’t go all the way. Does oral count as having sex? Does a hot man from your past showing up ‘only for the holidays’ going down on youreallycount as sleeping with him? I didn’t see him naked, so I feel like it doesn’t really count.
The desperate voice in my head tries to rationalize what I want and what my body is literally aching for. I won’t regret it. What’sone time,really? A little holiday fling with a definitive expiration date might be what I need before I take on the role of inn owner. Maybe letting loose and having fun in this wayishow Nick can support me as my fake husband. And Grams said it herself, a woman needs help when running a business. I’m pretty much doing what she told me to do.
