“Did I say something wrong? Is that unfamiliar to you?”
For reasons I can’t explain, my eyes sting with tears. It’s been so long since I’ve been touched by anyone.
“You didn’t say anything wrong,” I assure him. “I think that would be nice.”
He hums in satisfaction, and I’m reeling. He continues, “Then I feel comfortable telling you that I also wish to take care of you. I wish to make all your worries go away. I wish to hold your hands and walk in your woods together. I wish to destroyevery obstacle standing in your way. I want to use the ancient magics to heal the rifts in your family, and I want you to use me as you see fit.”
“Oh, Grak. I don’t want to use you.”
He doesn’t seem to hear this. He goes on, “And then I wish to share your bed and warm you from the inside out. I wish to please you with my tongue and feel your heat surround me.”
Is it getting hot in here? I’m not gonna lie, we’ve definitely, uh, had sexy talks over the mics with each other, stopping just short of anything that will get us banned from the game. Hopefully, the mention of pleasing me with his tongue doesn’t pull the plug.
“Grak,” I say, my voice shaking, “I want that too, but, um…”
“Pleasing a human is not what I’m used to, but I wish that you would let me try. I require little sustenance other than beer once a day, and we orcs are known for our stamina in the fields. This will no doubt translate to our marriage bed.”
Marriage bed?
I should hate that phrase. I’ve dumped guys for milder reasons.
But…oh god. When Grak says it? My best friend? My nipples really shouldn’t be this hard while fantasizing in a game.
This is too much. I’m legit over here wanting to have sex with a graphic in a video game. With a person who refuses to break character and speak like a human.
Fuck my life.
This is too much. I have to end this. I don’t want to, but I have to, for my own sanity. For now, I’ll just log off and say I’m tired.
“Um, Grak? I need to go.”
“Ginger,” he says. “Wait.”
I have to stop torturing myself like this. I have to stop letting him torture me.
The longer I let this go on, the more depressing real life is going to be.
“I have to log off, Grak.”
“But there’s more,” he says.
No. I can’t take this anymore. It isn’t fair to me. He’s fucking with me. I have to believe that.
“Grak, I’m sorry,” I say. “The wedding was perfect. But I’m not well, and I need to go.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, I quickly log out of the game. I chuck my headset so hard that it misses the stand and lands under my desk.
I abandon my mug of instant cider, shut off the lights, and snuggle down under the blanket.
I don’t understand these feelings I’m having, but I know there’s no way to explore things with Grak any deeper unless I know who he is. Like, really know him. His first and last name, for one thing. And he needs to drop the character.
I can’t deal with any of this. And so, instead of going to bed and being silent with my own thoughts, I cover myself with blankets and stay in my gaming chair and turn on the movie Die Hard, and let the drunken screeching lull me to sleep.
Chapter Six
Grak
I don’t know what I did wrong.
