Whatever the reason, I hate myself.
“In the winter, we move to a set of caves in the side of a mountain. The cabins aren’t warm enough, especially considering how cold it gets up here, and how unequipped the children and elders are.”
Movement catches in my peripheral vision; Conan and Xander come out to the front steps. They’re growing anxious being on coven territory for so long—as am I. They can wait.
“You okay?”
She blows out a long breath riddled with hidden truths when replying with the opposite, “Yeah. I guess. Going with Twilight Grove is one thing, but hearing I’m one of the four added another layer. It frightens me how this will end.”
Her quivering worries me. It scares me because my wolf is howling to brush against her leg and reassure her she’ll be okay. But we can’t do that.
She releases another deep breath and looks up at her house. “I should pack a bag. Now that you’re not hauling me away, that you know I’ll help, I’d like to grab some things and not be treated as a captive.”
“O-of course.” When’s the last time I stuttered? Her words throw me because I hadn’t considered the ramifications of her being there voluntarily. If she won’t run, there’s no need for her to sleep my cabin. Moving her out would be the smartest thing.
Despite her plans to pack, she doesn’t budge, glancing from her house to the mountains in the distance. Her breathing quickens, and the animal inside me is pleading to recognize the signs of her panic attack even before she does.
I swing in front of her, grasping her upper arms until my body interrupts her view. My wolf approves, but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, touching this woman after barely knowing her a day.
If she was smart, she’d blast me across the yard. If I was smart, I’d back the fuck up and avoid filling my nostrils with more of her scent than what’s necessary.
But I’m not smart and I’m not sure I have been since the second Carina Hargrove and I collided.
“Breathe.”
Because holding onto her arms isn’t bad enough, I push a finger into the underside of her chin to tip her head up, forcing desolate lavender eyes onto me. She allows me to control her body and my wolf rumbles in contentment. If she’s so pliable and submissive now, then in my nest?—
Shut. Up.
“What if they succeed?”
In turning her Dark? Fuck, I don’t know what to say, considering I hardly understand what it all means. What I do know is I can’t handle her falling to pieces. Not when my wolf craves being the one to pick them up, even when I’m not certain the shape they’re supposed to create.
“They won’t,” I murmur, pressing a thumb into her shoulder to silently remind her she’s still with me.
“They’ll try.”
“They’ll fail. Regardless of what happens, you won’t be there for long.”
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Her eyes mist with confusion.
“I’ll make sure of it. I’ll bring you back home.”
And that was me digging myself a grave.
Eighteen
CARINA
Ryder’s vowhovers between us, as precarious as this entire situation. While my heart takes off with his promise of safety, logic quells it. He doesn’t mean that. They’re words and nothing more.
Yet, I find myself asking, “Why would you?”
His expression is blank, but the rough brush of his fingers reminds me of the intimate way he’s holding my face. And how my body is a mere inch from his—his heat warming me more than his sweater, melting me back to life from the numbness Mom’s revelation left me in.
“We respect warriors, and what you’re doing involves a warrior’s courage. You’re going to a coven intent to change you, and not for the better. You’ll save a shifter who’s considered your enemy, your coven, and from what I’ve gathered, the others as well. No matter who or what they make you into, I’ll come for you, Carina. I’ll bring you home.”
