“You’re waking up the goddamn camp. This isn’t like you.”
Like me?Of course not. Themeeveryone knows is the man I’ve been. That man I’ve become is tainted by a rejected bond.
It’s like when Dad lost Mom to death and had to live without her. He, at least, had the knowledge they’d be reunited eventually. This feels like Carina died, except she’s alive and physically well—and will eventually be emotionally well, too. She just doesn’t want me.
Leah takes the bag away, and I snap at her for daring to keep my mate’s items from me. She doesn’t haveanyright to decide how I get rid of her.
“Get the fuck out. Both of you. That’s an order from your Alpha.”
Xander releases me but simply slides between me and Leah. “Respectfully, fuck you. Calm the hell down and tell us what happened instead of destroying the place.”
Leah crosses the room to tug out the half-burnt fur from the fire. She stomps on the smoldering flames with a frown before taking in the destroyed chair, the dumped clothing, and the partially torn nest.
“Oh, Ryder.”
“She’s gone. That’s all there is to it. Nothing in here is important.”
She’s gone.
She’s gone.
She’s…gone.
Carina isn’t here.
Forced to stop my rampage, the fact imbeds deeply into my mind until it’s my entire reality. Carina needs time, but time can be forever. She’s scared of her future with Sloane, and being who she is, she’ll never risk the pack’s safety.
Even to be with me.
“She’s gone,” I repeat, voice no louder than the softly flicking flames across the room. My steps stagger towards Leah, towardsCarina’s clothing, towards my nest—all things that Ican’tdestroy because they’re all I’ll have of her.
Leah grasps my hand and pulls me into the second chair, one I once sat in while Carina ate breakfast. It, too, is a memory that has me blinking it away, staring instead at the fire my two packmates position themselves in front of. Xander remains standing while Leah kneels in view.
“She’ll come back,” she murmurs. “I feel it.”
“She won’t. You didn’t see her face.”
“And you didn’t see hers,” Xander cuts in. “In the cells, this morning…she cares for you.”
“Emotions aren’t always enough. She wants to become a High Priestess.” Or at least claims to, not that I believe it. “She’s terrified of her powers and claims to need her kind more than anything or anyone else—me included. Twilight Grove only got half of what they wanted, so they’ll eventually return, and when they do, she wants to keep us out of it.”
“That’s bullshit,” Leah exclaims, earning a glance from both Xander and me. It’s so rare Leah curses. “We’d protect her.”
“She’s scared of us losing. It’s why she came back in the first place. It’s why she agreed to come at all. She’s always done right by us.”
Even when I fucked up.
Leah shuffles forward until she’s close enough to knock against my knee. “Pouting isn’t a good look on you, Alpha. You and I both know when they come back, whether she’s here or there, you’ll fight to protect her.”
Damn right. My entire future is now limited to the barrier around the town of Banff, the closest to her I’ll get.
“It’s a hard life,” Xander murmurs. “Wanting someone who doesn’t want you.” Only because Leah’s back is to him does she not notice his stare. After a few seconds, his eyes lift to me, understanding passing between us.
“Differing species, Dad’s health, the pack’s well-being—all reasons I never intended to complete the bond. The more time I spent around her, the more I found myself wanting her—and not because of the connection. When I began falling for her, I knew Twilight Grove’s arrival would ruin me in ways I’d never comprehend. When she took Dad’s Darkness, it gave me the chance to save her life. If she stayed, there’d be nothing preventing me from hiding her. She came back, though—because of course she did. That was the end for us.”
“Sounds like the beginning, actually.” Leah slides until she’s seated rather than on her knees. “Xander caught me up on everything that happened. Can’t believe she’s a shifter.”
“Part-shifter,” I correct. “She doesn’t appear to have the ability. It’s only the DNA.”
