I'd been afraid to say the words, afraid to lie to Brigid, to make a promise I couldn't keep. She nodded against my throat as she cried, and the little brush of her forehead against my skin was wonderful—all the confirmation I needed to assure me this wasn't arejectionof the news we'd received.
"Excuse us," I said over my shoulder. "The Grave Hills records are in that corner by the window, but I don't know what you'll find."
Mairwen and Ronson had both risen, looking startled but aware. Ronson nodded gravely to me and pulled his mate closer. "Take your time. Mairwen can spend days in a library, and I am happy to help her search.
"I'm so s-sor—" Brigid started, but I hushed her gently and carried her from the room. "No, the servants. I should?—"
"Tuck your face to me, and they'll think I'm carrying you off for a tryst," I said. Brigid snorted against me, and my answering grin probably sold the lie easily enough as I held my mate close.
Chapter Thirty
BRIGID
Itook a breath and ignored my shiver as cool water dribbled down my neck. "We should return. I didn't mean to?—"
"Not yet," Torion said.
He'd remained close as we made it up to the bedroom, but it hadn't taken long for me to recover from the shock of the announcement.
No, that was a lie. I hadn't recovered from the shock. I could barely think the words that had been spoken, let alone feel the reality of them. But I'd stopped crying fairly quickly, although something inside of my chest still felt tender. If Mairwen had anything else to tell me, perhaps it was better if I waited until I'd gotten my equilibrium back to hear it.
Torion sat down on the bed, just visible out of the corner of my eye, and I stood frozen at the washbasin, suddenly terrified to turn and look at him. He had mated me in the frenzy of the rut, created some sort of fantastical bond between our lives, one that couldn't be broken—all with a bite.
"I don't regret mating you, even if it was without my full understanding of the action," he said, voice clear and steady.
And so hypnotically direct. I was looking back at him before I'd given myself permission to do so, drinking him in as he sat onthe edge of the bed, smiling gently at me, his wings bracing him up and his hands resting open on his lap.
"But, Brigid, do you wish I hadn't?"
It was shocking how ready my answer was, how it was on my tongue like a reflex before I'd even fully heard Torion's question. I pressed my lips together hard to keep from speaking it too quickly. I took the towel from beside the bowl of water and patted my damp face and neck gently before placing it back and crossing to Torion.
"I'm glad you did," I said, a light flutter of joy twirling in my chest as I helped myself to his lap and he beamed at me, that brilliant easy smile of his, as his arms circled my waist. "I'mgrateful. I'm so scared to believe what they've told us, but Torion…if it's true…"
"I know," Torion said when my voice started to break. One hand rose to the back of my head, and he drew me in, pressing a long, soft kiss to my forehead. "You and our child will be safe. I believe that."
Ineededto believe that, I realized. I had to, or my fear might destroy me.
"It's not just that. Although, yes, that's…enormous to me," I said, and I rested my temple on Torion's shoulder. It was often still easier to speak like this—close, but not with his beautiful warm eyes begging me to throw myself open to him. "A long life. With…with as many children as I might dream of."
"I thought I might give you a good handful of daughters, but I suppose now we won't know if they'll be boys or girls after this," Torion mused.
I might've balked at the claim of "a good handful" of any sort of children, except my head was busy conjuring the picture of a little girl with thick black curls and big dark eyes andlotsof freckles. More freckles than I could kiss on a sunny afternoon.
A small, happy sob rose up in my throat, and I turned deeper into Torion to stifle the sound against the soft lawn of his shirt. His hands soothed up and down my back, cupping my shoulder blades and touching there. It took me a moment to realize he was searching for any hint of wings.
"Will you be disappointed if I don't have a dragon like Mairwen's?" I asked, the words mumbled against Torion.
"No," Torion said, just a little too quickly. I leaned back and narrowed my eyes as color warmed his cheeks. "Not disappointed with you, but perhaps a littleforyou. And for me, because I would like to see you as a dragon. To know that, no matter what, you could defend yourself as a dragon."
"It would start a riot here in the Hills. Even before this, Bleake Isle was much more relaxed in their traditions than here," I said.
Torion nodded and grinned. "I know. And I've already shocked dragonkin once."
Likely at least twice, I thought,considering they think you claimed me out from under Malcolm.
"You have enough to worry over without another transformation," Torion murmured, bowing his head and kissing the bridge of my nose.
My hand rose, fingers resting lightly against Torion's smooth jaw, and his gaze grew heavy lidded, content with such a small touch. "You really don't mind that you claimed me, tied me to you permanently, without even realizing?" I asked. The words felt too large to be real, something that could be said but not believed.
