I can’t let him know how deeply he’s sunk his claws into me.
His arm tightens again, pulling me even closer. I feel his breath on my shoulder, warm and steady. I don’t know if he’s awake or still asleep, but he murmurs something I can’t make out, his nose brushing the back of my neck.
My body betrays me, relaxing into his warmth despite the chaos in my mind.
I hate him. I hate that he’s made me need him, even when I know I should run.
“You’ll never run,”the voice whispers, dark and satisfied.“You’ll let him catch you every time. Because you don’t want to be free. You want to be caught.”
I press my hands to my temples, desperate to quiet the voices, but they keep clawing at me, ripping me open from the inside.
I hate myself for craving him.
I hate him for making me love the fear.
And I hate knowing that, no matter what happens next… I’m never going to let him go because the truth is, I don’t know how to exist without him anymore.
The room feels like it’s caving in, the walls pressing closer, suffocating me. I can’t breathe right, my chest tight and aching, and his arm around my waist feels like a chain locking me in place.
“Look at you,”the voice sneers, dripping with mocking sweetness.“All curled up like a pathetic little pet. Did you purr for him too? Maybe he should get you a collar.”
I clamp my hands over my ears, but the voices are in my head—they’re not going anywhere.
I squeeze my eyes shut, praying he stays asleep, praying he doesn’t hear how broken I am.
“You wanted it,”another voice coos, almost like a lullaby.“All that fighting was just a show. You wanted to be taken. To be ruined. And guess what? You got exactly what you begged for.”
“Poor little spider,”a third one laughs, darker, sharper.“Caught in your own web. Didn’t think it would be this easy to break you, did you? He didn’t even have to try that hard.”
I want to scream at them to shut up, but the words are stuck in my throat.
I feel like I’m being split open from the inside. My nails dig into my scalp, desperate to claw the voices out.
“Maybe you should thank him,”one voice purrs.“He did you a favour. No more pretending you’re the good girl. No more hiding how sick you really are.”
“Sick little spider,”another voice chimes in, almost laughing.“You loved every second. Did you see the look on his face when you screamed his name? Pathetic. Begging like the desperate little slut you are.”
Tears prick my eyes. I bite down on my lip so hard I taste blood. I need them to stop. I need to think.
“Think? You? That’s cute,”the voice snickers. “You’re not made for thinking. You’re made to be used—to let him break you over and over. You’re just a toy, and you love being played with.”
I’m spiralling. My thoughts collapse in on themselves, and I can’t tell what’s real anymore.
“Face it,”another voice sneers, colder, crueler.“You’re his now. You’ll never be anything else. You’ll never get away, because you’ll always come crawling back. You’ll keep letting him rip you apart because you need it. You’re addicted.”
I choke on a sob, pressing my forehead to my knees, trying to drown them out, but they just get louder—overlapping, taunting.
“You know what’s really pathetic?”one says, voice dripping with contempt.“You could’ve run. You could’ve fought. You didn’t. You stayed. You opened the door. You asked for it.”
“And now you’re stuck,”another laughs.“Stuck with the monster you begged to ruin you. You’ll never be free, because you don’t really want to be.”
My breathing turns shallow. Panic claws at my throat. I feel like I’m suffocating.
“You’re going to stay here,”the voice hisses.“You’re going to let him break you again. You’ll love every second, and then you’ll cry like a little victim. It’s pathetic.”
I can’t take it anymore. I need to get out. I need air.
I can’t think with him so close, his scent wrapping around me like a noose.
