“It’s for her.” I shook my head at having to admit it out loud.
“Damn.” Justice laughed, but it wasn’t mean. Just surprised. “You really in it like that?”
“Yeah… she’s talented. She makes these cinnamon rolls…”
“She about to make you risk it all and make you go back to being Prime Rib,” he joked.
“Nah, never that. I’ve come too far.”
“Uh huh.” He was quiet for a moment. “You know what? Maybe this is good.”
“What?”
“You finally settling down. Someone who makes you feel something besides that cold-ass emptiness you been carrying since you were a kid.” His voice got serious. “Maybe she’s what you need to heal from all that shit with Vivica. All that mommy issue trauma. The shame of being in prison. All of it.”
I gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Don’t psychoanalyze me, J.”
“I’m not. I’m just saying… maybe having someone to care about, someone who needs you, maybe that makes you whole again. Makes you more than just the violence and the business and the survival.”
Coming from anyone else, I would’ve hung up. But Justice had lost his wife Monica to cancer. Watched her waste away. Held her hand while she took her last breath.
If anyone understood what it meant to need someone, to love someone so much it changed you, it was him.
“What about you?” I asked. “What helps you heal?”
“Man, don’t worry about me.”
“Justice—”
“I said don’t worry about it.” His voice went flat. “Some shit don’t heal, brother. Some losses you just carry. But you? You got a chance at something real. Don’t fuck it up.”
Silence stretched between us.
“Aight,” he said finally, his tone lighter. “I’ll send you what I got. Got a few spots that might work.”
“Appreciate it.”
“Yeah, well. You owe me. Again.”
“I know.”
“And Prime?”
“What?”
“Don’t choke me out no more. Next time I might have to hit back.”
I almost smiled. “She’s off limits. Remember that and we won’t have problems.”
“Noted.” He hung up.
I sat there for a second, processing. Justice was right about one thing—I was different now. Changed. And I didn’t even know how it happened.
One minute I was living my life, focused on rebuilding something, keeping my distance from anything that felt too real. The next minute, Zahara walked into my line of sight and everything shifted.
Now I was disposing bodies. Making her come on my tongue to calm her fear. Planning her business expansion like it was my own.
Yeah. I was in deep.
