Elizabeth realized a moment too late what she had said.
“You have dreamt of…holding?”
She felt her face burning and squeezed her eyes shut.“Please do not ask me to speak of it,” she whispered.She felt Darcy sigh.
“Very well, my dear.I will not.”
She heard the disappointment in his voice and suddenly realized what he might think based on her words.She was notdispleasedby what she had dreamt of.She simply could not speak of it without melting into a puddle of embarrassment.
They made their way back to the house in awkward silence and separated to dress for dinner.Elizabeth hated that she had made Darcy uncomfortable and though he would not say it, she thought he seemed sad as well.She knew she had to make it right, so with great determination, she opened the locked trunk she kept in her closet and pulled out her journals.
Darcy was disappointed in his conversation with Elizabeth.He had been so happy to hear they would be a family, that he would have children of his own, and a happy wife, and a home filled with love and laughter.He had been feeling quite proud of himself.And then Elizabeth had refused to speak of her more intimate dreams and he had been filled with dread.
Was he a terrible lover?Was he selfish?Demanding?Had he failed to learn what pleased her?Did she dislike the activity?
After leaving her at the door to dress for dinner, he had gone back outside for a short walk.He did not wish to face her family at this moment.When he finally made his way to his room with barely enough time to change for dinner, he saw a small stack of books on his writing table.Curiously, he picked up the note on top of the leatherbound volumes.
Fitzwilliam,
I do not wish to leave you suffering under a misapprehension, nor do I think it fair to have such large secrets between us.The most recent volume holds the answers you seek.
All my love,
Elizabeth
Darcy ran his fingers over the soft leather.Elizabeth had told him she wrote her dreams in journals, but he had not realized how prolific she had been.There were eight volumes here, each filled with tight, neat handwriting.He picked up the first volume and opened it to see a date at the top.It began in January of that year.She must have had a great many dreams in a short time!Eagerly, he flipped to a page marked with a yellow ribbon, wondering if Elizabeth wished for him to start there.
He wrapped the ribbon around his hand and settled into the chair by the fire to read.
…His hands were gentle but insistent, and I felt my entire body suffused with heat—
There was a knock on the door and Darcy felt himself flush as he stuffed the book between his leg and the edge of the chair.Bates popped his head in and asked if he would like to prepare for dinner.
“Please make my excuses, Bates.I have business to attend to and will not be joining the family for dinner.Tell Mrs.Bennet I apologize.”
Bates nodded, clearly suspicious but too professional to say anything, and left him alone with the journal.Darcy rose and locked the door, then settled back in to read, his heart beating quickly.
When Elizabeth heard that Darcy would not be joining them for dinner due to urgent business, she hid her smile.She had no doubt he would be seeking her out later.
She was right.After her family had gone to bed, she made her way to a parlor at the back of the house, chosen for its distance from the family rooms and its relative quiet.Darcy found her there five minutes after she settled in with a book.
“Elizabeth,” he said, stopping just inside the door.
She looked up and saw an almost wild look in his eyes, one she had never seen while awake.In a moment, he was upon her.His lips pressed to hers and his arms clutched her close.She clung to his shoulders, pressing herself against him, his passion sparking an equal flame within her.
She did not know how long they stayed thus, indecorously pressed to one another on a sofa in her mother’s back parlor, but finally, he eased away from her and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, leaning back to look at her squarely.
“You know what this means, do you not?”he asked with a hint of amusement in his eyes.
“What?”
“Now youmustmarry me.”
She smiled impishly.“I was already planning to.”
“Then let us make it as soon as possible.”The glow in his eyes shifted from amusement to fervor in an instant, and she nodded, her mouth dry.
“Very well, Fitzwilliam.You may name the date.”
