Elizabeth,
Why would I chastise myself when you do it so much better? I shall see you in our chambers before it is time to dress for dinner. I need you.
FD
Elizabeth,
I am sorry. Dinner was interminable and unimaginable and incredibly difficult. If I feel it was thus, you must have felt it even more so. My love, you know I find you to be an exemplary mistress, do you not? You are perfect, in every respect. Do not listen to your mother.
I know we have had disagreements over your family in the past, but I think we can both agree that your mother does not know what she is saying. And your sister has always been…she has always been Mary.
Your husband is very pleased with you. I am ecstatic, actually. I did not know it was possible to be this happy, and yet every month I am happier than the one before. Do not heed their words, my love. You are exactly what I wish for, and despite your mother’s proclamations, I would never dream of sending you back to Longbourn. You are mine, quite indelibly, and I cannot be convinced to give you up.
I love you with all my heart. I will be here whenever you are ready for company.
Your Husband
Fitzwilliam,
You know exactly what to say to make me feel better. Forgive me for losing my composure. I had thought I could weather my mother’s words quite easily, but it seems distance has eroded my defenses. The longer I am at Pemberley, the further away Longbourn’s chaos seems, and yet, she had no trouble packing it into the carriage with her.
I feel much better after my bath. Jane and my aunt will arrive tomorrow, and they have always been tempering influences on my mother. And baby Charlie should keep her distracted. Though it will likely make her even more stringent about my need to provide you with an heir while I am still young enough to do so. I will not be four and twenty for another fortnight! Of course, as she informed me earlier today, she had her fourth babe when she was four and twenty.
Why do I let her bother me? I know she is ridiculous. I know she does not think before she speaks. And yet, I also know that she is my mother, and that somewhere deep inside me is the memory of a six-year-old girl who wanted her mother to be pleased with her, but who was constantly met with disappointment.
You are wonderful, and so kind and patient with me. I will climb into bed now and try not to think about the fact that my mother is staying under the same roof as me. Come join me, my love?
Surely you are no longer drinking with my father? Send him to the library and he will be no trouble the remainder of the visit. I jest, but only partially. If you are with my father, tell him you must handle an estate matter first thing in the morning and need your rest. He will tease you, but if you walk quickly enough, you will not hear most of it.
Come hold me, my love. I need your arms about me.
Elizabeth
Fitzwilliam,
You are the most generous man I have ever known! This has been the best birthday I could have imagined. I loved every moment of it, from the drive this morning to the picnic to the fireworks over the lake. My family was shocked you went to such expense for your wife (especially one who has yet to give you an heir, but I do not wish to speak of my mother today).
I loved every moment of it. I love you. And to show you my gratitude, I wish to show you something I ordered from Madame Aubert. It is made from that silk you are so fond of. Come find me, my love. Let us celebrate my twenty-fourth year in our favorite way. Though we must keep the terrace doors closed. My parents do not need to knowtoomuch about our marriage.
ED
7
A Babe, a Fool, and a Lioness
Pemberley, Derbyshire
July 1816
Elizabeth,
Are you feeling better? I hate to be away from you when you are ill. I will complete what is necessary in the next two hours and then I may join you for a nap.
FD
Fitzwilliam,
I am perfectly well. Only a little unwell. I can imagine you laughing at my silliness. Do not rush your work on my account. I will see you at dinner as planned.
