I nod. “I want that, too. And to see Chris and Matthew. And I know he’s been dying to see Lunchbox again.”
She chuckles. “He’s been talking my head off about him for the past couple of weeks.”
Ebony and I hug through the window, and then she watches as I back out of the driveway and drive away.
CHAPTER 44
ESSENCE
Danteand I have to make one more stop before we go back home.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Essence?” Dante asks as we stand on the porch of the place I used to call home. Now, it’s nothing more than just an empty house filled with nothing but bad memories and nightmares.
I nod. “I just need to grab a few things.”
“I’ve already told you that I would buy you whatever you need,” he says softly, placing a comforting hand on the small of my back.
I really need that right now, because I can’t stop the tremors currently terrorizing my body.
My hand shakes as I try to unlock the front door, so Dante does it for me.
“I appreciate that, but I also need to get some closure.”
The door creaks open; the wood is still split from when Dante kicked it in to save me. That night feels like it was years ago, but it was only a few weeks ago. My life has changed so much since then—it’s changed for the better, and I want to keep it that way.
Taking a deep breath, I step inside. Lunchbox cries from the backseat of the car, almost like he’s begging me not to go inside.
“Let’s make this quick, baby,” Dante says as he follows me inside. “I don’t want Lunchbox to have a panic attack.”
As soon as we pulled up, he started barking like crazy. It’s wild how intuitive he is, especially for being such a young little puppy.
The house is the exact same way it was when I was last here, except there’s now a musty, rotten smell from the house sitting vacant for so long. I’d gotten the utilities cut off a few days after Evan’s death—because of course they were all in my name—so all of the food in the fridge has gone bad.
Officer Santino gave me the okay to come back here days ago, but I haven’t been able to muster up the courage to come. Dante doesn’t want my being here to revisit any trauma, and while I appreciate him for that, I need to do this.
“I’ll be quick,” I tell him as I head upstairs. My heart races at a wild rate as I go up the stairs.
It’s not like I haven’t been back here since Evan died, but to be here so long after that night is strange. I swear I can hear his heavy footsteps stomping around in the distance, and the faint slamming of cabinet doors and drawers.
I shake my head to rid myself of those memories.
I don’t have to live that way anymore. Dante will make sure it never happens again.
The door to my old bedroom is closed. In fact, all of the doors are closed, and the hallway is shrouded in darkness. Taking a deep breath, I open the door and step inside.
For the most part, everything is where I left it the first time I came back to grab some things, except for some small stuff that got knocked over when the police were here.
Instead of “reminiscing” about all of the bad times I had here, I quickly grab some bags and start stuffing them with the rest of my clothes, shoes, and toiletries. I didn’t have much to beginwith, so I’m able to get everything I need in a few minutes. When I’m done, I call Dante up here to help me bring the bags down.
“Is this everything?” he asks, somehow carrying all the bags down by himself.
I follow behind me. “Yeah. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
Dante loads everything into the trunk, and he decides to drive home.
As we drive away, I turn in my seat and look at the house I spent the past two years of my life in. I take a deep breath and watch as the house becomes smaller and smaller the further we drive until it’s no longer visible.
Only then do I close my eyes and breathe.
