“Nothing?Evan hasnevermade me breakfast before.” She walks over to the kitchen table and sits down. “Or lunch and dinner. Not even a snack, for that matter.”
Her tone is playful, but I can hear the hurt underneath it. Lunchbox jumps on me, so I pick him up and walk to the front door.
“I’ll take Lunchbox out to use the bathroom and then he can have his breakfast,” I tell her.
“You went and got him some food?” she asks.
I grin and shake my head. “I made him some puppy pancakes.” I point to the little saucer and bowl of water on the floor next to the table, and when she looks down, tears fill her eyes.
“Thank you,” she whispers, wiping her face.
I lean down and kiss her forehead, and it takes everything in me not to claim those plush lips instead.
“Don’t worry about it,fiore.”
Ireallyneed to stop calling her that.
When I was a kid, my dad called my momfioreso much that I’d thought it was her name, until one day I asked him if it actually was.
“No,figliolo,” he’d said, his amber eyes getting warm and soft at the thought of my mom. “It means ‘flower’ in English. She’s soft and delicate, and she smells so sweet… Your mother isperfect, Dante.”
He’d gotten a weird look in his eyes that I didn’t understand as a child, but now that I’m older with a flower of my own, I get it.
It’s loving someone so unconditionally, you feel like you’re dying every time you look at them.
There were other things Dad did when I was a kid that I didn’t really think much of until I got older, like following Mom around when she was running errands—without her knowing, of course. Or when we were all out together and he’d scan the area like a hawk as if he was waiting for something bad to happen. He was always on alert when it came to Mom, because her safety was the most important thing to him.
I get it, because I’m the same way with Essence, and I suppose I have my dad to thank for my obsessive behavior.
But his obsession with Mom ran so deep that he barely paid me any mind, and I often felt like an afterthought to my parents. I knew that when I got older and had kids of my own, I would give them the attention that I’d so desperately craved from them.
Lunchbox limps around my yard for a few minutes before finding a spot to do his business. I lean against the column on my front porch and watch him with a smile on my face.
This is the life I’ve always wanted, and I'm so close to having it. Once I get Evan out of the way, Essence will be mine, and I'll start pumping her full of my babies.
I’ve bought all the things I need to start building the white picket fence to go around the yard. It was something I'd started last year, but I fell off after Leo died. He’d wanted to see it, but after his death, I lost interest, leaving the fence half-done and an eyesore to the neighborhood.
Being with Essence is reigniting that desire I’ve had for the perfect life. I want to do this for Leo, to give him a sibling and show him that I didn’t give up, and that I'm still fighting for him.
Warm tears burn my eyes. When I hear the door open behind me, I quickly wipe them away and turn around. Essence watches Lunchbox with a sad smile. It’s the chilliest it’s been since autumn started, and despite already wearing my jacket, she wraps her arms around herself and shivers.
Her small body melts against mine as I pull her into my side, and she lays her head on my shoulder. I bury my face in her hair and inhale the faint, sweet scent of her shampoo. We don’t talk, don’t move, just stand there watching Lunchbox have the time of his life in my yard despite his injury.
When he’s done, he trots past us as fast as his little paw will let him and back into the house. We laugh and follow him inside. He immediately finds his little plate of food and starts scarfing it down.
“Be careful, Lunchbox,” Essence says, looking concerned with how quick he’s eating.
I crouch down and rip up the pancakes and bacon into smaller pieces. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have left them whole.”
Essence waves a hand dismissively. “Please, don’t apologize. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
When I'm done with Lunchbox’s pancakes, I wash my hands and sit next to Essence at the table. We eat our meal in acomfortable silence, sneaking glances at each other and blushing when we lock eyes.
Something deep in my chest flutters at this moment. Is this what it’s like when you’ve found your soulmate?
CHAPTER 17
ESSENCE
