“But how do we have a wedding procession if the house is jam-packed with people?” Bridget asks.
“We don’t,” Kelsey says, as Hawk’s fingers slide through hers. “We just squeeze through the crowd as if it’s a concert and make our way toward the front.”
Hawk beams down at her, besotted as a teenager, and who can blame him? He’s somehow found a woman who doesn’t care about his money, who doesn’t care about how this wedding will look on social media—who simply loves him.
Even Bridget softens at the sight of the two of them. “This is the only day like this you get. Let’s make sure it’s special.”
“It’ll be special no matter what happens, Mom,” Hawk replies.
My eyes sting, and I’m not sure if it’s happiness for them or sadness for myself. I love that they have what they do, but yes...I wish I had it for myself, too, and I don’t think I ever will.
The spa day is moved to the basement. The men’s golf outing turns into a visit to one of those indoor driving ranges. By the time we’re heading upstairs to get ready for the rehearsal, there are trees down in the yard and the sound of sirens is nearly constant.
I don’t see how the caterers are even going to make it tomorrow if this keeps up. Aiden apparently has concerns along similar lines and gets ordained online just in case the justice of the peace doesn’t arrive. The woman who was coming to do Kelsey’s hair for the rehearsal couldn’t get through the neighborhood and had to turn around.
It’s not likely to be better in twelve hours.
Upstairs, Kelsey and I both shower and then do each other’s hair, the same way we did back in high school. The rehearsal and wedding are going to be an absolute shit show, but it’s sort of cozy in the room with the rain hammering the windows and pounding against the roof.
“You didn’t happen to bring a steamer, did you?” I ask, grabbing my crumpled beige dress from my suitcase.
“Oh!” she yelps. “I nearly forgot! Elijah said to tell you your other dress is in the closet. It’s gorgeous, by the way.”
My brow furrows. Thereisno other dress. My bridesmaid’s dress was pressed and delivered up here yesterday. The only other dress I brought on this trip is the one currently balled up in my hands.
I go to the closet anyway and find the dress from that shop window in Seaside hanging there.
There’s a flutter in my chest, and an ache too. Elijah speaks every one of those love languages Betty referred to and Thomas speaks none of them.
But Thomas is the only one who actually claims to love me, so what does that say? To paraphrase Maya Angelou, I should probably believe people when they tell me something, ordon’ttell me something, the first time.
All is chaos downstairs, of course. The rehearsal dinner has moved to the house because the restaurant lost power. “This is just terrible,” says Bridget, wringing her hands. “What can I even serve all these people on such short notice?”
I don’t have a clue. Kelsey and Hawkreallyshould have cancelled.
I find Elijah in the foyer. His eyes glow as he takes me in.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I love it.”
He steps closer than he should—fortunately there’s so much going on that no one will notice. “You’re so beautiful,” he replies, letting his hand slide over my hip for only a moment. “I’m incapable of looking at anything but you.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him why this won’t work with us. I could move to a university closer to him. We’d live in separate towns, but I could drive back on weekends.
But this isn’t the time and it’s also pretty pathetic, offering so much when he’s never asked me for anything. I just got dumped two weeks ago and have been pulling out all the stops to win that guy back, which is bad enough. But here I am, ready to throw away everything I’ve earned back in Boston for a shot with a guy who has never once said he wants me to come home.
Maybe I’m one of those people so desperate for love that they’re best served not pursuing it in the first place.
The wedding planner calls us all to attention. They’ve decided that Kelsey and Hawk will say their vows on the upper landing between the two staircases, with the bridesmaids on one side and the groomsmen on the other. Family members will stand on the stairs. My gaze shoots to Judy, who probably shouldn’t be standing on the stairs whether she’s in remissionor not. I’m not sure if she knows that Elijah told me, but now that I’m aware, I can’t unsee it. Even in remission, her balance is unsteady and she fatigues quickly. My gaze meets Elijah’s and he gives me a small smile.I’ve got it covered,that smile says.
We could have made such a good team.
We practice filing in and getting into formation on the landing, but we can barely hear the wedding planner’s instructions over the shouting in the foyer as food is being delivered. Every time the door opens, the wind rattles the chandelier and whips my dress around my legs.
As the wedding planner tells us to file out, the door opens again and glass shatters somewhere below us. Bridget glances down and shakes her head. “That was a ten-thousand-dollar vase.”
As nice as it must be to afford incredibly expensive shit, it would be even nicer to not especially care when it breaks.
We move straight from the rehearsal to dinner, which is now an incredibly informal affair.
