This limit feels a little unfair. I’m just trying to address the elephant in the room so we can stop thinking about the elephant, and I can either laugh about what happened or cry. I’m choosing to laugh, albeit somewhat at his expense.
Seems to me he should be grateful, if anything.
“Fine,” I reply. “But that didn’t count as my one for today.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not taking shit from a girl who dressed up for a fucking road trip. Though I should have expected it.”
The mood was semi-playful, at least for me, until this moment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He sighs through his teeth as if he’s trying not to take the bait when he’s the one whothrewit. “It means you don’t look like yourself anymore. You look like you’re auditioning forThe Real Housewives.”
Unbelievable. I look good. I lookbetter. But nothing is enough for him. “How would you have any idea what I’m supposed to look like now, Elijah? It’s beenyears. A lot has changed.”
“Maybe,” he growls, “but no one changes that much without a push.”
Yeah, and maybe you’re part of what pushed me.The words rest on my tongue but I hold them in. I don’t want to use my one potshot about his fuck-up this early in the day.
We hit I-95 and follow the signs for Savannah. There was a time in my life when any sign for another city thrilled me. Boston once seemed as exotic as Paris or Sydney or Tokyo, but you get used to anything, bad or good.
“I need to book us something for tonight,” I say, pulling out my phone. It’ll have to be an Airbnb. Otherwise Melissa will note the paucity of the hotel when she’s relaying this story to everyone back at school.
It only occurs to me in this moment that maybe she and I aren’t actually good friends, if I’m counting on the fact that she’ll gossip about me relentlessly.
“I already got us a place,” Elijah says.
There’s a curdle of dread in my gut. I hope it wasn’t expensive. I won’t eat for a month to pay for it, but if Thomas doesn’t come running back, I’ll be too sick to eat anyway.
I bite my lip. “Just let me know the cost and I’ll Venmo you.”
He laughs to himself. “I’ve got it, Easton.”
“I’m not letting you pay for a place we’re only staying in because I demanded it. We could be staying for free with your grandmother.”
His nostrils flare. “I’m not letting you pay for a place on a trip you’re only taking to help save my grandmother’s life.”
“If something actually goes wrong with your grandmother,” I say, leaning my head against the window, “you’ll realize that this was not money well spent.”
“Are you capable of holding my grandmother’s hand while I call nine-one-one?” he asks. “Because that would probably be enough.”
I snort. “Even if your grandmother was dying, she would not want to hold my hand.”
He doesn’t argue, simply shrugs. “Fine, then you can call nine-one-one. And she doesn’t hate you. I think when you were small she just had some concerns.”
Okay, now he’s done it. My temper flares the way it always has at even the slightest hint of criticism. It’s not an admirable trait. “Concerns? What kind of concerns do you have about a seven-year-old?” Because I still remember that turned-up nose of hers every time I walked into the cottage, or the way she’d say, “isn’t it time you were getting home, Easton?” I’d never once worried about overstaying my welcome until his grandmother came to visit.
“You’re not gonna love my answer, but she was worried you’d be a bad influence on Kelsey.”
“At age seven? Was it my rampant cocaine use, or my OnlyFans side hustle?”
He shifts uncomfortably. “It was more about your family.”
I fight that thing inside me that wants to lash out, that wants to argue that she didn’t even know my family,and if she wasn’t such a stuck-up bitch...
But why am I still defending them? My brothers and my dad have done terrible things. Sean spent two years in jail and will certainly spend another few years there eventually. My dad and Kevin aren’t much better. Maybe it’s just that I’m one of them, and a hit to one of us is a hit to us all. Maybe it’s that I’ve done some bad things myself, and I understand the fact that sometimes you feel like you don’t have a choice.
Carol fucking Cabot has always had money. She’s always had a choice.
“I’d like to point out that she was still being an absolute bitch even as I was heading to Harvard.”
