I want to go. God, I do. But how can I do that to him—even if he’s the one asking? “I don’t—”
“Please, V. I don’t want to disappoint her.”
I don’t know if he means Nova or his grandmother, but either way, the words hit hard. Something twists in my chest, and I pull out my phone. As the screen lights up, my heart stutters.
Seven missed calls. From Nova. All before she tried to call Steven. I hadn’t notice because my phone was on silent, but the truth is undeniable.
She called me first. The thought floods me with guilt—and something else I don’t want to name. She chose to callmefirst. Not him. She chose me.
I look at Steven, guilt eating me alive, and nod. “I’ll go.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Vincent Cooper
PRESENT (2023)
"Every time you pick up your
guitar to play, play as if it's the last time."
Eric Clapton
I’m waiting in front of her door. I rang the bell a few minutes ago, but no one’s come yet. From inside, I hear music. Christina Aguilera.
After another five minutes, the door opens, revealing Maggie in low-rise denim shorts and a white crop top. A lit cigarette dangles between her fingers. She scans me from head to toe, pausing on the stuffed monkey in my hand, the Fleetwood Mac CD Nova doesn’t own yet, and the plant in my arms.
She studies me with a look I can’t place, then finally sighs and steps aside. “She’s in her room.”
I nod and step into the apartment. The sofa’s a disaster, the kitchen sink stacked with dishes, piles of laundry left unfolded.
“Need a hand?” I ask as I slip off my shoes and place them neatly in the rack under her sharp gaze.
Maggie ties her blonde hair into a high ponytail. “Just try to calm her down. I’ve tried everything, but she’s desperate and won’t tell me what happened.”
I pause before heading down the hall. Her next words freeze me. “Don’t hurt her this time.”
I stiffen but don’t turn back. “I don’t want to hurt her. It’s just that—”
“It’s complicated?” She cuts me off. “Yeah, I know something about that. Just don’t mislead her again. You’ve hurt her enough already and she’s trying to be happy right now.”
There’s something strange in her eyes. As if she wants to judge me, but doesn’t quite know how.
Not that it matters—she wouldn’t be the first to make me feel like I’m constantly on trial for every choice I make. Like I always get it wrong.It’s as if people can see right through me. As if they already know everything about me, when in truth they know nothing. They have no idea what it’s like to live inside my head. It’s a fucked up mess. A dark, heavy place. They don’t understand what it means to make awful choices just to avoid even worse ones.
But I don’t take Maggie’s wariness personally. She simply doesn’t trust anyone. She wears her sharp edges like armor. And behind that bitchy front, there’s just a broken angel fighting for scraps of peace. I recognize her struggle.
“Nova’s not like us. She loves too much,” Maggie mutters, folding a T-shirt from the couch.
“And you don’t?”
Her shoulders stiffen and I sigh. “I know we don’t really know each other. But if you ever feel too overwhelmed you know where to find me. I can be a pretty good listener.”
I don’t wait for her answer. I head for Nova’s door, plastered in animal stickers and I knock twice.
“Come in.”
Alright, Vincent. It’s just Nova and she needs you.
