The regret in his eyes wipes away my nervous energy, replacing it with the heavy sadness I’ve been carrying for weeks.
I walk toward my room, and he follows silently. “You came to tell me we can’t be friends anymore?”
“What are you talking about?” he asks, closing the door behind him.
“That look on your face. The one that says,Sorry, but I’m about to tell you something that’s going to hurt you.”
He rolls his eyes and sits on my bed. “First of all, you need to stop predicting what people are going to say before they’ve said it. It’s irritating.”
“Sorry,” I mutter, grabbing a handful of darts from my desk. I start throwing them at my makeshift target—an old poster of Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker. I can’t bring myself to ruin a picture of Vincent, but I need something to take my anger out on.
“I see you’re handling the whole Vincent situation in the healthiest way possible,” Steven deadpans.
“What do you know about it?”
He shrugs, taking a cream puff from his bag. “Didn’t know. You just told me.”
I throw one last dart before sitting next to him. “Did you bring—”
He cuts me off, handing me a cardboard box with a slice of strawberry cheesecake and a fork. “Yeah, pain in the ass. I did.”
I laugh softly, taking a bite. No one makes desserts like him. “I missed this.”
“My cheesecake?” he teases around a bite of his pastry.
I shake my head. “The way you used to call me a pain in the ass and tell me exactly what you thought without worrying about hurting me.”
I lean my head against his shoulder, and he slips an arm around me. I feed him a bite of cake, and he offers me a piece of his cream puff in return. We both let out little sounds of pleasure at how good they taste.
“Me too,” he murmurs, eyeing the darts stuck in Andrew Garfield’s face. “What happened?”
I shrug. “I don’t know if it’s smart to talk to you about my love problems when it’s your best friend we’re talking about.”
“Maybe not. But you’re my friend too. You were my first friend.”
I remember how, back in middle school, he swore he’d never be my friend—and now here he is, sitting on my bed eating pastries with me.
“He said he’s in love with me,” I whisper, “but that he can’t give me what I want. You know how he is.”
“How long have you been in love with him?” he asks casually.
“Steve, don’t—”
He nudges me playfully with his elbow until I laugh. “It’s okay. I just want to know.”
I know I should tell him, but I can’t. So I change the subject. “You were right about everything you said... but don’t you think you went too far when you claimed we don’t care about you? Steve, did it ever cross your mind that maybe I couldn’t admit I was still in love with him because Idocare about you? Because you’re one of the most important people in my life? I know I was wrong not to tell you sooner, and I’m so sorry, but—”
Steven gets up, scanning the stack of books on my shelf—most of them gifts from him over the years.
“I said things I didn’t mean. I was angry, and I couldn’t take it anymore. You know I always say stupid things. But watching the way you two acted... God, Nova, I always feel like the odd one out. Without you and Vincent, I wouldn’t even be part of the group. I don’t have a place among you. Especially when it’s you, Vincent, Sam, and Maggie—when it’s the four of you, it’s like there’s this aura around you. Like you’re invincible, tied together by something I’ll never have. And I’m jealous of that. I just wanted to feel like part of that connection too. And I couldn’t stand watching you two wrapped up in your little love bubble, as if you were the only ones suffering, while I was left outside. You’re my family, and—”
“You’re my family too, Steve. You, me, and Vincent—the original candy avengers. We’re stuck with each other, forever.”
Tell him, Nova. Be honest. He deserves it.
“I think I realized I was in love with him at sixteen,” I admit softly. “At that Straight Punch concert. He was on stage, playinglike it was the only thing keeping him alive. And then he looked at me and smiled. And I felt my heart explode.”
His eyes snap to mine. “And when I asked you to the ball...”
