“I keep guitars that are, you know, the neck’s a little bit bent and it’s a little bit out of tune. I want to work and battle it and conquer it and make it express whatever attitude I have at that moment. I want it to be a struggle.”
Jack White
The lights from the candles I lit as soon as we entered my house cast a soft glow over his face. He looks serene, but equally tired, and even though there’s a smile on his lips, I can tell something feels off. I just don’t understand what it is.
In less than an hour, it will be his birthday.
He’ll turn seventeen, and along with the gift I already gave him, I want to give him the acceptance letter from Bellevue College and the plane ticket I bought. Vincent has to leave for Seattle right after graduation to attend some summer courses and workshops offered at Cornish College. He and Max are going together and they’re already looking for an apartment to rent. I’ve been secretly planning to join him later. I bought a ticket for July and I’m saving every bit of money I can to afford adorm room near campus. As soon as I arrive, I’ll start looking for a waitressing job in a bar or café. I just hope he’ll like my idea. He doesn’t know I’ve been accepted, and he has no clue I’m planning to move to Seattle just to be with him.
“You sleepy?” he asks, sitting down on my bed.
It’s one of the first times he’s ever stepped inside my new room. Before, it belonged to my father, but I redecorated it, making it as close to my old room as possible. I can’t bear the thought of sleeping somewhere that constantly reminds me of him.
I shake my head, kneeling to take off my boots, but Vincent stops me. He scoops me up effortlessly and sets me on top of the desk.
I chuckle. “What are you doing?”
He just shrugs, takes off my boots himself, and carries them over to my small shoe rack. “Nothing.”
He leans back against the closet door, arms folded and eyes locked on me. His gaze’s impossible to read. I get up and walk over, planting my hands against the closet on either side of his head, caging him in even though I’m nearly a foot shorter.
“There are times when I can’t figure out what’s going on inside your head. Like right now,” I tell him softly.
Vincent’s hands slip under my thighs and, without hesitation, I jump up, wrapping my legs around his waist.
“What do you mean?” he murmurs, staring straight into my eyes.
I press my forehead against his. “I mean... before, everything felt fine. We... I don’t know. I can’t tell what you want from me anymore. Before, it was like we were in a honeymoon phase. And then, suddenly, you pulled away. Cooper, you’ve been ignoring me for weeks and—why didn’t you tell Steven that—” I stop, the words catching in my throat.
I feel his grip tighten, rougher, almost desperate. “Tell him what? What was I supposed to say?”
“You know.” That there’s something special between us.
He closes his eyes and exhales heavily. Then he presses a kiss to the tip of my nose and carries me across the room, settling on the edge of my small bed with me still in his lap.
“When I hold you in my arms, I feel like I’m finally safe. And when I saw you on that dance floor tonight, in that dress, it felt like my heart was going to rip straight out of my chest. You don’t realize the power you have over me, Nova. I...”
I loop my arms around his neck, fingers threading through the hair at the base of his nape. “You...?”
Say it, baby. Even just once.
“Some music?” he cuts himself off, changing the subject completely.
I just nod and cross the room to turn on the stereo. The first song that comes on isTotal Eclipse of the Heart. I chose it deliberately.
I don’t turn toward him, but I can feel his gaze burning into my back. “Is this okay?” I ask, fiddling with the countless buttons on my dress.
“Your dress has so many buttons,” he says, a little amused.
“I had it altered on purpose,” I whisper. My fingers tremble as I try to undo them myself, but then I feel him behind me, his hands brushing mine away, his fingers grazing down my spine.
“Why?” he murmurs into my ear.
“Because I was hoping you’d be the one to take it off me tonight.”
The words slip out before I can stop them and his hands freeze halfway down my back. Fear spikes inside me—maybe I shouldn’t have said it.
“Good thing I’ve been dying to take it off you ever since I saw you tonight. As beautiful as it is, and as much as it makes your eyes sparkle, it’s still in the middle right now.”
