PAST (2018)
"The guitar was my weapon,
my shield to hide behind."
Brian May
Something is wrong with Vincent. I can feel it in my bones. It’s like something shifted between us overnight, like we’ve been dragged back ten thousand steps, and I don’t understand why. I don’t understand what happened for him to pull away like this.
He makes up excuses so I won’t stay over at his house. He hasn’t kissed me since—fuck. He hasn’t kissed me since I told him I was in love with him.
And yet, I truly believed he felt the same for me. He was there when I felt those feelings, and I know he felt them too. It wasn’t all just in my head.
When I said those words, I was excited about Fleur, I was grateful to have Vincent. I was happy for the first time in months. And now? Now it feels like those words pushed him further away.
He’s so strange now. He’s not acting like my Vincent.
Every time I try to open my mouth, to push us back to the place I know we belong, he changes the subject. He steers me away, blocks me from reaching the one thing that’s been eating me alive for weeks.
Next week is the Winter Ball, and the day after it’ll be his birthday. He’s turning seventeen.
I had a plan: go to the dance with him and go home together afterwards.
I bought candles, a salt lamp, with the first money I earned working shifts at Roxy’s as a waitress. I bought a dark blue dress with matching heeled boots. I even made a CD, filling it with songs I’d never sent him before—songs that sound like how my heart feels when I’m with him.
Now, in the cafeteria, he sits next to Max at our usual table, staring down at his tray. It’s like his gaze is lost, as if he’s not really here. Max has the same hollow look, but with Max, I know the reason.
Aurora hasn’t come back to school. Something serious happened before school started. Max said she’ll return after Christmas break, but every time he mentions her, his face crumples with worry. He’s told me a hundred times that Aurora’s not ignoring us. That she’s just dealing with something too heavy to carry, and I believe him. I know what it feels like when life pins you down so hard you don’t even want to get out of bed.
Steven’s next to me, talking, but I barely hear him. My eyes keep drifting to Vincent, until Vincent himself looks up. His gaze slides—not to me, but to Steven.
Like a mirror, I follow his eyes just in time to hear the words that freeze me in place.
“So... I, uhm... I wanted to ask you if you’d like to go to the winter ball with me?” Steven’s tone is hopeful, his smile careful, and my whole body locks up.
How the hell do I say no? How do I tell him I’m in love with his best friend without breaking his heart?
My eyes shoot back to Vincent. Please, I beg silently. Say something. Tell him. Tell him about us. But Vincent doesn’t. He just stares down at his untouched slice of pizza, shredding a paper napkin into tiny pieces and letting them fall onto the food like it doesn’t matter.
Then, for the briefest moment, his eyes find mine. And in them, I see it. He’s begging me to say no.
“I can’t,” I whisper.
Steven’s smile falters. “Really?”
“I...” My throat is tight. I turn toward Max, desperate. “I promised Max I’d stay with him since Aurora hasn’t come back to school yet.”
Max freezes mid-bite, an apple half-raised to his mouth, and arches an eyebrow. Confusion flashes in his eyes, and I silently plead with him to understand, to play along.
Finally, he mouths a soundless “Ah!” and nods. “It’s true,” he says quickly, his voice steady. “She has to watch me all night. She promised me.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
Vincent Cooper
PRESENT (2023)
"I sing and play the guitar, and I'm a
