I just wish I could get him alone. I’d let him say whatever he wanted—scream, curse, anything—if it meant talking to the real Steven. My brother. Not the one blinded by pain, but the one I’d trust with my life.
“Steve, can we just—”
Before I can finish, he’s already gone into the kitchen, and the sharp click of the lock cuts me off.
“Well, that was a total disaster,” Will mutters, and everyone nods in agreement
CHAPTER FIFTY
Vincent Cooper
PRESENT (2023)
"For me, I think the only danger is being too much in love with guitar playing. The music is the most important thing and the guitar is only the instrument."
Jerry Garcia
“You know he doesn’t really mean what he said, right?” I ask Nova as soon as I park Sam’s car under her building.
She nods faintly, eyes fixed on the rain-streaked window. “I know. But... if he meant it, he wouldn’t be wrong about almost everything.”
I turn toward her completely, killing the engine. “What?”
Nova shrugs and finally looks at me, her gaze sharp and restless. “I’m talking about the moment when he said we’re in love with each other. That’s obviously bullshit, right?”
“Nova...”
She reaches out, takes my chin between her fingers, pulling me closer until I’m trapped in her stare. “It’s bullshit, isn’t it? Because you’re not in love with me.” Her voice is trembling,almost pleading, like she wants me to confirm a lie she’s desperate to believe.
I break eye contact. Her gaze is too much, too intense. “Why do we have to do this now? You said you’d wait until I was ready.”
She drops her hand and leans back, head resting against the seat, eyes closed. “Why not now? What difference does it make if you’re not in love with me? Why don’t you admit it, the same way you did four years ago when you said that if we kept going with whatever it was we were doing, it would’ve been a problem for your health? Tell me your feelings could never turn into love because you’re too broken for me. That I’m too much for you. Go ahead, repeat that bullshit to me again. Tell me that Steven lied. Tell me my feelings are one-sided. That I should be ashamed of what I feel for you.”
My throat tightens. “Nova... youaretoo much for me,” I admit softly, turning to her, “but that’s exactly why—”
“Again?” she cuts me off bitterly. She shoves the door open and steps out, leaving it wide.
“Nova, wait—” I scramble out too, nearly tripping over a fire hydrant as I chase her to her building. I stop next to her while she’s digging through her bag for the keys. “Where are you going now? We were talking, Marshall.”
She rolls her eyes and finally finds the keys, unlocking the front door. She holds it open with her yellow boot and looks at me. “We weren’t talking, Cooper... you were just saying the same old bullshit because you don’t have the guts to tell me the truth. And you know what? Maybe we really are better off as just friends. Every time something sparks between us, it always ends in a disaster. Clearly, we’re not meant to be together—not now, not ever. Not in this life, not in any universe. Bye.” she murmurs before shutting the door behind her, locking me out of her house and her heart.
I stand frozen in the rain, heart pounding, soaked through. My brain screams at me:Tell her. Tell her the truth, you idiot.
So I pace. Ten minutes. Twenty. Thirty. Back and forth in front of her building, until my hands are shaking in my pockets. Finally, I pull out my phone, find the song, copy the link, and send it to her.
Then I march up to her intercom and ring. Once. Twice. Five times. Until finally, the buzzer clicks and the door opens.
I run up all six flights of stairs, lungs burning, until I reach her apartment door.
She appears, barefoot, holding a plate of grapes. Pajama shorts, a messy hoodie that says “Lol, you’re not Seth Cohen,” and her hair in a half-bun. Her cheeks are flushed from the shower and Roxy weaves around her ankles, then scampers between my legs.
Nova blinks at me, surprised—but then she hides it behind a casual smile. “Your glasses are all wet,” she says, popping a grape into her mouth.
I try to act indifferent, though my chest is about to explode. “Oh, yeah?”
She nods, watching me closely. “Why are you here?”
“I... I just wanted to—”
