“I can feed her and set up a little bed while you shower,” I offer.
At last she looks up at me, her cheeks flushed red. Her gaze flickers between my eyes and my lips before she clears her throat, carefully places Roxy in my lap, and stands with my clothes in her arms.
“I’m going. I won’t be long.”
“Take all the time you need. Towels are in the cabinet. Shampoo and bubble bath are the same as always.”
Her blush deepens at that, and she disappears into the bathroom. The sound of the shower follows a moment later, filling the apartment with white noise.
I sigh, focusing on the kitten in my lap instead of the storm in my head. Better to be useful than to stand here picturing Nova in my shower.
I set up a pillow and blanket on my nightstand for Roxy, prepare the bottle in the kitchen, and change my bed’s damp sheets.
When Nova comes out ten minutes later, she’s in my oversized T-shirt and sweats, her damp hair clinging to hercheeks. She clutches her wet clothes like a shield until I take them gently from her.
“I’ll wash these. They’ll be ready by morning.”
She nods quickly, avoiding my eyes. It stings, but I understand.
I point at the makeshift bed. “Roxy’s all set. There’s her bottle on the nightstand.”
“We could... feed her together?” she suggests softly, finally daring to glance at me.
God, she looks beautiful in my clothes. Always beautiful, but this—her in my shirt, standing in the middle of my messy room—it pulls me straight back to another time. When hiding kisses and stolen touches were our only worries. When we were just two kids learning how to love, how to please each other, with the world still ahead of us.
I’ve never been able to go out with anyone after her, nor have I ever been able to sleep with another girl. It’s as if there’s a lock on my desire, something deep inside holding me back...
“What if I dry your hair while you feed her?” I ask.
Her eyes snap to mine, wide, before she nods too quickly, almost desperately.
So she sits cross-legged in my cactus-pattern sheets with Roxy in her arms and the bottle in hand. I plug in the hair dryer and sit behind her, drying her hair strand by strand, careful not to tug.
Her shoulders slowly relax as the warmth spreads. When I finish, she lays Roxy down gently, tucking the kitten under the blanket. “I’ll have to feed her every two hours. I can... go home if you want.”
“Take my phone and set an alarm every two hours,” I say firmly.
I gather her hair behind her shoulders and start brushing, slowly, carefully. She smells like my shampoo. She’s wearing my clothes. She’s in my bed. Just like before.
Her voice is quiet. “Some music?”
I hand her the remote and the stereo crackles to life.
I don’t remember which CD I put in last time, probably one where I burned random songs a few years ago. But the song that starts playing is the only one I never wanted Nova to hear now, and especially not like this. I recognize the opening guitar right away, and when Nova recognizes her own voice, she turns to me with wide eyes.
Nova freezes, staring at me. “That’s my... What is that?”
I set the brush down, hands raised in surrender. “Don’t be mad. I can explain everything. It was supposed to be a surprise.”
Her brow furrows, but she doesn’t look angry. Just confused.
“Do you remember that party my parents threw for you? When we found your old camera.”
She nods slowly.
“I... found a video I took of you. You were dancing and singingBreakawayby Kelly Clarkson, and your voice was so pure, so full of hope... I couldn’t get it out of my head. So I reworked the song. Recorded a cover with Max. I used your voice for the intro. Nova, your voice is the most beautiful melody I’ve ever heard. I was going to play it for you, get your consent before I uploaded it but—”
I don’t get to finish because she throws herself at me, knocking me flat onto the bed. “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard,” she whispers, straddling me, burying her face in my neck.
