CHAPTER ONE
Nova Marshall
PRESENT (2023)
"You have to take a deep breath and allow the music to flow through you. Revel in it, allow yourself to awe. When you play allow the music to break your heart with its beauty."
Kelly White
Every day I try to find something that gives me a good reason to smile and try to bring joy to the people around me. Ever since I was a child, I’ve always believed that you don't need a reason to have a smile on your lips and be so happy that you have to vent your emotions by dancing in the middle of a room. Unfortunately, I’m surrounded by people who don’t share the same energy as me, and I’ve found that spending your day to find a reason to be happy is a good way to forget all the reasons why being happy for real, perhaps, is meaningless.
Life is not easy. There are so many obstacles to face every day, and thinking about them gives me a headache.
It's not easy, it's true, but there are a thousand ways to make life adventurous.
My roommate Maggie thinks that if I failed a college exam, I would be able to stage a choreography to the tune of a Fleetwood Mac song in front of the teacher.
She's right but I know that if I didn't act this way I would be too overwhelmed by anxiety and melancholy. I’m not good at keeping my negative emotions under control and the only way I can keep a balance with myself is to keep them from finding a foothold to come to the surface and take control of my thoughts.
That’s why every day I try to find at least one good reason to be happy and not think about what’s hurting or tormenting me.
Once, when I was sixteen years old, I had a bad fight with my mother, and I crashed a concert that night just to avoid thinking what she said.
As a child I was always getting into trouble, both at home and at school, and I would have my brother paint my hands to take my mind off punishments.
I remember that fall when I adopted Fleur, my dog. I was lost, desperate, and had no idea what to do with my life.
I believe fun and fleeting escapes from sadness are the only way to survive life with any grace. Right now, I want to disappear into a bathtub and cry for hours—but instead, I’m perched on the kitchen counter, a bowl of cream resting on my thighs, a dirty spoonful of mixture melting in my mouth.
"How is it? Should I make it again?"
With a guttural cry of approval, I dip the spoon into the bowl again and raise it to my lips.
"It's amazing."
As I take another bite, I see Steven smiling to himself while mixing the ingredients for the sponge cake in a bowl.
I paint a toothy grin on my face. I love it when he laughs. "What are you laughing at, Steven?"
"You make me laugh, Nova," he retorts as he sets the whisk down on a ceramic plate next to the bowl.
He walks around the kitchen island and leans against the counter behind him. I dipped my finger into the chocolate cream, while he wasn't looking at me, and got up from my seat, approaching him as well.
"Really?"
We’re facing each other now. I place my clean hand next to his arm on the counter. After a few moments, I feel his hands encircle my hips and pull me even closer.
"A bit," he whispers against my lips.
His eyes are closed. I brush his lips with mine for a few moments before pulling away. "Why don’t you show me how much I make you laugh?"
"Babe..." His voice is a whisper.
His fingers move up my exposed arms, sprinkling my skin with shivers. He rests his hands on my cheeks, caressing my scarlet skin—partly flushed from the sun outside, but mostly because of the warmth of his touch.
"What?"
He leaves a kiss on my forehead. "I should finish making the cakes. It’s getting late."
