But the bonds are stillthere. Still pressing. Still too loud, too much, too raw.
“It was never supposed to feel like this,” I gasp out. “The bonds. They were— before, they were—”
“Muted,” Kieran says quietly.
I look at him. He’s still by the cave entrance, still maintaining distance, but his gold eyes are sharp with understanding.
“The corruption,” he continues. “It wasn’t just affecting Darian’s magic. It was dampening your connections to all of us. You weren’t feeling the bonds as they truly are.”
“And now?” My voice cracks. “Now I feeleverything. I feel Darian’s guilt and Finn’s panic and Malrik’s— whatever that is— and you—”
I stop.
Because I can feel what Kieran is feeling.
Hunger. Want. A restraint so iron-clad it must be painful.
And beneath it all, a desperate, aching hope he doesn’t want me to see.
Heat pools low in my stomach — unbidden, unexpected, entirely inappropriate given I’m lying naked on a cave floor in the middle of a panic attack. My body doesn’t seem to care about timing.
Not now. Gods, not now.
“Yes,” Kieran says softly. “Now you feel us as we truly are.”
Finn is at my side before I register him moving.
“Hey. Hey, look at me.” His hands find my face, tilting it toward him. His green eyes are bright, a little wild. “What do you need? Tell me what to do.”
“I don’t—” The words tangle. “I can’t make it quieter. I can feelallof you and it’s—”
“Okay.” He’s nodding, thumbs brushing my cheekbones. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. We’ll—”
But he doesn’t have an answer. None of them do.
And I can feel his frustration through the bond now — hot and sharp and directed entirely at himself for not being able to fix this with sheer force of will.
I love him for trying. Even when there’s nothing to try.
Darian hasn’t moved.
He’s still beside me, close but not touching, and his guilt is the loudest thing in the room. It pounds through our newly purified bond like a drum — shame, self-loathing, the absolute certainty that he’s broken something irreparable.
“Stop.” The word comes out sharper than I intend. “Darian, please— I can feel your guilt and it’s— I can’t—”
“I’m sorry—” He pulls back further. “I’ll go. I’ll leave. I’ll—”
“No.” I grab his wrist before he can flee. Force myself to hold on even though the contact sends another wave of emotion crashing through me. “Ichoseyou. I chose this. Whatever broke— it needed to break. I just—”
I don’t know how to explain it.
I don’t know how to make any of them understand that this isn’t rejection. This is the opposite of rejection. This is feeling them so completely, so intensely, that I can’t process all of it at once.
“She needs rest,” Malrik says quietly. “Whatever just happened— whatever shifted— she needs time to adjust.”
“The bond purified.” Kieran’s voice is distant. Almost reverent. “She’s feeling a true Valkyrie connection for the first time. It will be overwhelming until she learns to regulate it.”
“Can you?” Aspen asks softly. “Regulate it?”
