Because I wanted so much to give both myself and Jasper time to process, I left with the body and Dank via the portal. We ended up in his office, where I lay on his bed and detached from the world while he did whatever the hell he did to get the Major’s body ready. I know Oriel showed up with the needed shit from the morgue at one point, but Dank ushered him out quickly despite his protests. I really need to figure out what I can give him as a thank you for the help, because the old demon didn’t bother me for hours while I brooded with Dottie curled on my stomach.
Being completely blank for so long helped me get myself back into balance briefly, and I’m definitely baking that dude a cake or something.
When he was finished, the doctor handed me a small book, gently advising me to write my feelings until I felt comfortable expressing them out loud. I almost cried, but luckily Dottie was there to give me a hug and chitter, something that I think shemeant to be comforting. I was going to leave and head for my dorm, but Dank insisted that I allow him to portal me to my door and escort me inside. I wanted to protest being watched over so intently but… I knew he was right and I had promised the guys that I wouldn’t run around by myself. Even if they all hate me—on Jasper’s orders, no doubt—I don’t enjoy going back on my word.
As soon as we reached the door, it flew open, and Salem was there, his eyes pleading with me. That helped a little; at least I knew he wasn’t going to abandon his promises because his prince was in a snit. But Dank cautioned him to give me space to heal physically and mentally before he approached, and when I whispered ‘please’, the panda backed off quickly. Dottie and I headed for my room, closing the door and clicking the latch to keep the boundary I told Zav about in place.
I knew I wasn’t in any space to work things out or interpret what happened yet—not until I slept and had time to really sit with everything that happened.
By the following Monday, I emerged from my room fully dressed because I’d snuck out to shower in the middle of the night. No one bothered me, and I could clean everything as thoroughly as possible until all I could feel or smell on my skin was me. I needed that; I knew my boundaries would be tested as soon as I stepped into the main area of my dorm, and I had to feel settled in myself in order to hold firm. Salem’s head whipped around when I came out, and when I demurred at going to theTricliniumfor breakfast, he stayed to make food and sit with me quietly at the island.
The rest of the week dragged on as I quietly moved from class to class, allowing various members of the caliphate to escort me a few steps behind but not get close to me. Ihaven’t been punishing them as much as hunkering down to study and practice without getting distracted by the other things that began before the death of the Major. Oriel, Salem, X, and even Slash have been shadowing me without pushing, which I appreciate more than they will ever know. Zavida has been sticking to Jasper like a growth, facilitating anything that requires the dragon to speak to me as a conduit.
That hurts, as does his refusal to look at me, but I know how deeply betrayal cuts him, and I have to give him the time he needs as well.
Which brings us to today—the following Saturday—where I’m sitting at the Keeper’s table, sipping a mug of hot tea that he made the moment Oriel dropped me off. I’m struggling with focus this week; I haven’t managed a single successful shift, nor have I been able to keep up the ‘bulk-up’ eating schedule Slash prescribed for me. In fact, I’ve probablylostweight, which I know isn’t good—but at least I haven’t been outed to the entire school in a fit of pique.
“I suspected you weren’t what you seemed on your first visit, you know.” The Keeper looks at me, finally breaking the silence and forcing me to meet his gaze. “That wasn’t just about your mysterious lineage or your powers; I knew you were hiding your true self. But much like the reptilian member of your caliphate, I thought perhaps I’d be crossing some line if I mentioned it. I’m old enough to know that demons have been fluid since inception, but the taboo nature of discussing it before you’ve been given permission is new, I’ll confess.”
“I don’t know if I should use your title or your name now,” I mumble as I shrug. “But either way, I’m not hiding because of dysphoria or anything like that. I got this stupid letter from here, and no other college I’d applied to responded, so I took thechance that I could pretend at a boys’ school for my time there rather than leaving town to flip burgers.”
The Keeper frowns, looking confused. “Your only options were to come to a school you knew nothing about or run away from your home to do what I think is a menial labor job? That feels very extreme, lass.”
“I lived in foster homes—they were never my homes, nor were any of them really my parents. As soon as I turned eighteen, they could have thrown me out on the street. I was on borrowed time as it was, and if I wasn’t bringing them kudos for raising a scholar, the Jamesons would definitely have given me the boot after graduation.” Wrinkling my nose, I shrug. “I’d been saving for the possibility, but I wasn’t saving as if I’d need to actually take the burger option.”
“I see,” the big man says. “Well, I don’tactuallyunderstand what the bloody hell humans do to their progeny, but I comprehend why you felt leaving with a masked man in a cloak was not a worse choice than rejecting his offer. Luckily for you, the doctor is one of the good ones.”
I smile softly, nodding before I sip the tea again. “Yes, he is. And of course, Dottie.”
“You can call me Arces,” he says abruptly, then looks over at my kinkajou. “But I can’t work with you on your little girl and your bond until you give me the story of how you got her. I don’t know how the things you talked about affect pets, but I assume you weren’t allowed one. Is that right?”
Dottie stands on her hind legs, shaking her small fists at him as she chitters angrily. I chuckle, knowing she must be voicing her rage at being hidden before Dank showed. “No, I wasn’t. Itwas upsetting as a young kid, but as I got older, I accepted that. There were always too many kids in the early homes, and a pet might have been something the worst of the fosters could use against us. When I ended up at the Jamesons’, their excuse was that they were far too busy, and I shrugged it off.”
“So how did you end up with this delightful gal before the old bird showed?” Arces asks curiously. “You couldn’t have kept her concealed very long.”
“That’s very true. There were twin boys my age in the house who grew more and more terrifying as we got closer to graduating, and they were the Jamesons’ favorites. Even if I’d kept her from my foster parents, the boys would have figured it out, eventually. Blake and Bryce had no boundaries, and no one held them to any sort of standards of behavior.”
My brows furrow as I remember some of the last interactions I had with them. Their acceptance at the college made their egos worse, and I’m uncertain how bad things would have gotten if Dank hadn’t shown up when he did. I let that go once I got here, and there were much bigger problems, but I won’t be able to keep it to myself for long. Now that all the caliphate members know my big secret, they will press for more information about my ex-home. I won’t be able to keep Jasper from suggesting that we go back there to investigate now, either.
That is, if he ever speaks to me again.
“Go on, then. Tell me what happened.”
I sigh, raking my hand through my hair. “My fosters found out the twins had gotten big scholarships to dream schools. They arranged a dinner with the coach and whomever else they wanted to impress, but I wasn’t invited. I came home to a darkhouse and heard noises I thought were a burglar. I picked a ridiculous weapon, crept through the dark, and ended up in my parents’ room. The noises led me to a closet where this lovely girl was rifling through a hidden safe on the floor.”
“By Lucifer’s fluffy goat tail…”
Frowning, I look at Arces curiously. “What?”
“It sounds like Dottie was sent to find something, doesn’t it? Why else would a familiar be rooting through human papers and things?” The bearded demon shakes his head, making a huffing sound. “I can’t say I’ve heard of a familiar bonding to a random demon when they are sent to accomplish a mission. That sort of thing is usually handled by ones who arealreadybonded to a supernatural being, eh?”
I honestly never thought about it, but I think he might be right.
“But Dottie loves me, and no one has found any spells or whatever on her. The guys were very suspicious of me at first, and they did a lot of bullshit trying to prove that I was a spy sent by the Headmaster or the King.”
Arces snorts, then slams his hand on the table in mirth. It makes everything jump, and I scramble to ensure my teacup doesn’t spill. “Oh, that’s rich. As if either of them would send a tiny scrap of a male who doesn’t have powers and seems to know nothing about our realm or anything in general. That boy has been so twisted by his father that he doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.”
“I can’t say I disagree,” I say with a rueful smile. “But now he’s got proof I was lying, so I’m probably going to be subjected to more of the shit we’d finally moved past.”
