Morgana felt empty.An empty shell with only me rattling about in it with not much to do. Honestly, it was as if there was a special event taking place that everyone but me was invited to. The park at night looked like a creepy black sea, and weirdly, I found it alluring, much like the college gardens at night with the scary statues that guard the roses.
My room was at the back of the building, so I couldn’t see what was happening along the street. I was extremely hungry by this point, and even though I was cautious about Warwick turning up again, I still took the chance and left my room to find some food.The dining hall closed at 8 PM, and I had twenty minutes to get there, grab whatever was left, and head back. Once my stomach was full, it would ease my growing anxiety, and I could think more clearly.
With Mila not answering my messages, the visit from the Warwick scum, and being somewhere where I don't know anyone and can’t escape, my anxiety has gone up. Reason number 45 why I should start running or going to the gym is so I can release some tension.
I grabbed my small shoulder bag that held my phone, keycards, and most importantly, a knife. Then I trotted down the stairs, passed the kitchen and common room to find them empty, and opened the front door expecting to see students hanging around. Instead, I was greeted by an empty, half-lit street.
“Where is everyone?” I whispered as my feet quickly accelerated from a brisk walk to a jog so I could arrive at my destination faster.
Stomach rumbling loudly, I felt hungrier with each step as I moved closer to the dining hall, hoping to see at least one person. Each resident hall I passed was lined with dark windows, no lights on, no one inside. This was tough for me because, even though I liked my own company, being alone in such a large place like Castlehill felt different.
I know I seemed paranoid, but it felt like I was in one of those reality TV human experiment shows where everyone was in on the secret except me—livestreamed across the country, with viewers watching from their screens, waiting to see what I did next.
That’s ridiculous. I mean…there were security cameras everywhere, but…don’t be preposterous.
Staying on the bright side of the road, I got to the dining hall without any issues and was glad to see the warm glow of lights inside. A group of five students was quietly talking at a table withempty plates, as if they had been sitting there chatting long after finishing their meals.
“All we have left is spaghetti Bolognese and roast yams,” the cook told me from behind the buffet bench.
“I’ll eat anything,” I gasped in relief, rubbing my groaning stomach.
“I’ll have to be a takeaway because we’re halfway cleaning up,” she told me abruptly, which suited me fine. But said it loudly so the table of students nearby heard and got the message.
Once I had the takeaway container in my hand and smelt the tomatoey meat, my stomach groaned and I had to stop myself from shoving my face into the warm food to take a bite. When I stepped outside, greeted with the cooling temperature and a breeze carrying the scent of pine from the surrounding alpine trees, I didn’t want to go back to empty Morgana, so I instead walked behind the dining hall in the direction of the park.
Every few steps, I’d find myself in a shard of shadow where it was difficult to see where I was walking, so I’d switch on the light of my phone to guide my way. But it was also a comfort to have the knife in my bag knocking against my side as I moved, and I wouldn’t hesitate to use it if I needed to, because the elongated shadows from the streetlights made everything creepier, and I was more alert.
I turned a corner, feeling my way without checking the campus map, and expected to see the field, but instead, I encountered a wall of a building I didn’t recognize in the dark. In the distance, I could hear pumping music and laughter, but it was hard to tell which way it was coming from. At least I knew why no one was around—you could hear the party, a party I wasn’t invited to.
Seriously, I couldn’t believe I was thinking this, but I wished the rest of the students would hurry up and get here so the campus wouldn’t feel so empty. I mean, I loved and enjoyed my own company and could spend long periods of time alone andhappy, but this felt like a ghost town. And ghost towns were eerie and mysterious, and there was always someone watching.
I leaned my back against the building's wall, opened my meal container, and scooped a forkful of spaghetti into my mouth to soothe my stomach. It was so tasty that I couldn’t resist another scoop of mincemeat, and I felt tomato sauce drip on my chin. I wiped it off with the back of my hand before taking out my phone and checking the map.
The GPS popped up with a 'You are here' bubble, and it seemed like all I had to do was keep walking in the same direction to reach the park. Cool. As the distant sounds of the party grew louder with each step I took, my feet finally sank into soft grass, and a sea of black stretched out ahead.
The top of the field was lined with resident halls, including Morgana, all shrouded in darkness with no one around. The opposite end of the field was enclosed by a manicured hedge with a path cut into it, and other buildings bordered the other sides of the field, but they were also bathed in darkness.
I was alone, but I didn’t feel lonely, and every time I heard a noise, I saw nothing. The rising hills and mountains that loomed over me seemed closer and more threatening in the dark, like a sleeping monster you never want to wake.
Lights dotted the hills, which, according to my map, were some fraternity and sorority houses—party houses. The night was clear, with a blanket of stars overhead, so I sat down in the middle of the park, cross-legged, and savored each bite of my meal.
One of the houses on the hill had people on the balcony socializing, and it seemed to be the source of the music. It was too far away to see their faces or count how many people were there, but the faint outline of the house resembled the shape of a small castle.
I found myself mesmerized by the scene—a flame of golden light against the black background, with owls hooting nearby, and I heard the distant rumblings of rattling engines, which I assumed were from motorbikes. There weren’t many vehicles up here in the mountains; probably the buses were built onsite, as I couldn’t imagine those buses on the back of a train when curving around those sharp, rising bends.
But I wasn't a transport expert, so what would I know? I was just pissed off that there was no escape route out of here in case of an emergency. What would happen if there were a forest fire or the train tracks were damaged? Honestly, they didn’t think this through.
After eating my meal and feeling much better with a full stomach, I lay back in the soft grass, took off my sneakers, and dug my toes into the cool earth. Above me was a wondrous world of twinkling stars, gradually smothered by thick clouds rolling off the mountains. I estimated that in about an hour, the stars will be gone, and I’ll head back inside to my warm room.
The distant party sounds drifted in and out, and the moving clouds above me were mesmerizing as my body relaxed. Even though I was vulnerable out in the open, I wasn’t stupid. My hand rested on my knife inside my bag, so if someone was foolish enough to sneak up on me, they’d regret it. I’d call it self-defense.
The wind picked up and swept across my body, prickling my skin and carrying the sound of grunting engines, which seemed closer before disappearing completely. My phone beeped, startling me, and lit up inside my bag.
Mila: I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I’m fine.
Me: I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Can I call you to talk?
I was so relieved when Mila called and wasn’t angry with me.
