“Oh…Aricia…” I hate her tone and try not to fly out of my chair when Rana crosses my table and throws her arms around me. She’s hugging me!? Do I seem like I need a hug? I try to wriggle away for just a second and then… I just let it happen. I hug her back and Rana squeezes.
“Peter doesn’t need a reason to love you and I know Kennard hurt you, but there’s never going to be certainty.Never.Maybe you should just give Peter a chance.”
“What if I don’t want to give him a chance? What if I am tired of giving men a chance to break my heart?”
Rana relaxes her grip slightly. “He won’t break your heart. Or I’m gonna kick his ass just like I did to Inessa.”
Strangely, I believe her.
“Do you really not want to give him a chance?” Rana asks me.
I look at her and see myself as a younger woman with all my hopes for love and romance. I put all those hopes on Kennard and when it didn’t pan out, I just focused on my career and gave up on love. I don’t want to be that person for Rana, who looks up to me. I don’t want to be that person who gives up on love for the sake of my younger self.
“I… I don’t know how I let myself fall so hard for him and it scares me.”
It feels like I relieved a mound of pressure tightening in my chest as I practice admitting the truth about how I feel out loud. Rana smiles, like I just said something exciting and not downright terrifying.
“Oh my God, did you tell him that? What did he say?”
“I didn’t tell him that, Rana. I told him that I would give him a legal document and then after he made breakfast, I said thank you and… I haven’t seen him since.”
“Wait WHAT?!”
“What?”
Rana shakes her head. “How do you keep so many secrets? Do you have a finsta?”
“I don’t know what that is, Rana. And I’m not keeping secrets. I just don’t… I’m not that mushy of a person.”
“But Peter made you breakfast. So he’s obviously a mushy person.”
“Or he was a hungry person who wanted to go through my cabinets and fridge.”
“He’s rich, he doesn’t need to do that!”
“Rana…”
“What? It’s public knowledge. He’s paying for his cousin’s case and we charge alot.”
“Fine. Then he wanted to go through my cabinets.”
“Heloves you.”
“Rana…”
“Aricia and Peter sitting in a tree–”
“Rana!”
“Okay,” she says. “Fine. I just wanted to lighten the mood before I got to the bad news. But I still think you should have Peter ‘take care of it’.”
“Peter won’t be handling anything in my life that I can’t handle myself. Now get to that bad news before I explode.”
“Inessa’s lawyer contacted us. She intends to file a civil lawsuit against Plant, Parker, & Nigel for discrimination, wrongful termination, and retaliation under Title VII.”
Rana waits for my response. The room spins around me and I fully intend to come up with something intelligent or proactive to say.
“I’m going to throw up,” comes out instead, and I’m just grateful that it’s not actual vomit. I lean back in my chair, trying to process all of this, because I can tell from the look on Rana’s face this isn’t all I have to deal with today.
