My ex-husband was the star tight end at our Division III university. Not the best football player in the world, but certainly big and strong enough that he could whip Rana and a baseball bat around his head with relative ease. I don’t want to kill her enthusiasm for punishing my husband.
I just need us to find a better way to do it that doesn’t land us in jail. Nonviolent confrontation is the best way and then I can get all my good licks in right there in the courtroom… even if Kennard fights and lies through his teeth the way I know he’s more than willing to do to get ahead.
I convince Rana to pursue nonviolent communication by the time we get to my place. Kennard’s car is parked outside, next to a car that I don’t recognize… A Kia Soul with a bumper sticker on the back that says “Kids up in this bitch!” inside of a yellow “caution” triangle. My stomach sinks. Rana makes a noise when she sees the bumper sticker.
“I know this is not the trifling hoe your man is cheating with.”
“Maybe we should turn around.”
Rana grips my arm so tightly that I freeze in place, allowing her fingers to sink in.
“We aren’t goinganywhere,” Rana hisses. “You are going to confront Kennard Plant andget that man out of your house.”
Our house. We’ve lived together for over a decade. I can’t remember the last time I did a load of laundry without throwing in a few pairs of his socks or a couple t-shirts. Tears form at the back of my eyes. It’s over. It doesn’t matter what I did for that man or what type of past we had together. He threw it all away for his young, blond secretary.
I don’t want to go in there and rip my life apart. But if I don’t… I won’t be able to live with myself.
“Let’s do it,” I say to Rana, holding back a scream and a sigh. “Let’s go confront my cheating ass husband.”
We’re both frozen in hesitation in the passenger seat before entering the house. What the hell am I doing?
“Do you know what you’re going to say yet?” Rana cuts through the silence.
“Girl. I don’t know.”
“Okay,” Rana says, reaching over to hold my hand and strangely calm me down. “You don’t need to be perfect. Just make sure to mention the fact that he’s bald. You know his ass is self conscious about his hair loss.”
“I’m scared, Rana.”
“Of Kennard?”
“No. Of killing him and ending up in prison with people I prosecuted.”
“I won’t let you go to jail,” Rana says. “But we can’t let him get away with this.”
“We?”
Rana shrugs. “It’s called being a ride or die. I’ve never had a chance to prove myself like that before.”
“Okay. And I will try my best not to blame the mistress.”
“Good for you,” Rana says. “I’ll be tracking her down for later.”
She squeezes the top of my thigh. “Ready for this shit?”
No. I’m not ready at all. I took a vow to spend the rest of my life with this man. But I have boundaries. Standards for myself. When you let a man cheat once, he takes it as license to keep doing it. And this isn’t just cheating.
He’s sleeping with her inour bed…
“No,” I tell her, making sure my voice doesn’t choke up and stop me from going inside. “Honestly, I’m not ready at all.”
Rana isn’t overly sympathetic, but she lets me know that I’m not alone. I feel strong with her by my side. This might feel like it’s the end of my life, but I have to convince myself that it isn’t.
“Don’t worry,” Rana says. “It’ll all be okay.”
“How can you say that? Splitting the law firm– The whole thing is going to be–”
I can’t finish the sentence.
