Of course. Let's recalibrate that scene. More action, less formal declaration. We need to show his respect through a deed, not just words, and the dagger is the perfect way to do it. This creates a much more powerful and immediate shift in their dynamic. Here is the revised section.
“Thank you for your assistance, Mother,” I said, my voice carefully neutral.
Grakka’s eyes glinted. She walked over to me and placed a hand on my arm, her wrinkled skin tough as old leather.“You will have your hands full with this one, my son,”she murmured, her voice too low for the human to hear.“That is good. A strong male needs a strong mate.”She squeezed my arm.“Congratulations.”And with that, she swept from the longhouse, leaving the two of us utterly, terribly alone.
The silence that descended was a physical thing, thick and heavy as summer air before a storm. The fire popped and hissed, the only sound in the vast, shadowed space. I took a single, deliberate step toward her, and the change in the air was immediate. I smelled it instantly. Underneath her clean, natural scent was the sharp, acrid tang of fear. It was not the shrieking terror of the civilians in the square, but the high, alert tension of a trapped animal that knows the predator has finally shut the door to the cage.
The scent of her fear did something unexpected. It did not ignite the hunter in my blood. It banked the flames, replacing them with a cold, cleardetermination. The desire to see that scent extinguished was a sudden, overwhelming need.
She took a small, involuntary step back, her eyes wide as she tracked my movement. Her hands, hidden in the ridiculously long sleeves of my tunic, were probably clenched into fists. I stopped, keeping a respectful distance between us. I was a mountain of muscle and battle scars; to her, I must seem like the end of the world.
“I claimed you,” I said, my voice a low rumble in the quiet hall. “Before my warriors and your people. That is the law. It stands.”
She stared at me, her expression a mask of disbelief and loathing. Her whole body was braced for the attack she believed was inevitable.
“I saw how you fought in that stinking mud pit you called a city,” I continued, my gaze fixed on her. “You have the heart of a wolf in the body of a fawn.” I gestured to the tunic that enveloped her, the one she had chosen instead of the dress. “And you stand here now, wearing my clothes in my home, and you still look at me as if you are the one with the axe. This is not the way of a thrall. It is the way of a mate.”
I took another slow step, and this time she held her ground, though I saw her jaw tighten. “You are not a prize to be taken in my bed,” I told her, the words feeling both absolutely true and like a betrayal of every primal instinct roaring inside me. "You are a prize to bewon.”
Her brows furrowed in confusion, the fear in her eyes warring with a deep-seated suspicion. She was searching for the trick, the lie in the words.
“You will not share my furs,” I declared, the words tearing their way past the beast in my blood, which howled in visceral, violent disagreement, “until you choose to be in them.” The general, the chieftain’s brother, held the chain. For now. “This is my vow.”
The fear in her scent did not vanish, but it lessened, flooded by a wave of pure, baffled shock. This was so far outside the realm of what she had expected that her carefully constructed defenses had no protocol for it. She was armed for a battle of force, not one of words and strange, barbaric honor.
But words were not enough. I knew that. My word was law in this stronghold, but to her, it was just the breath of her enemy. She needed more.
With a slow, deliberate movement, I reached for the dagger sheathed at the small of my back. It was my personal blade, perfectly balanced, its hilt worn smooth from years of use, its edge sharp enough to shave with. Her eyes darted to the movement, her body tensing again, expecting me to draw it on her.
Instead, I held it out to her, hilt-first.
The blade gleamed in the firelight, a wicked sliver of honed steel. It was not a gift. It was a transfer of power.
She stared at the dagger as if it were a venomous snake. She looked from it, to my face, and back again. She did not move.
“Take it,” I said, my voice quiet but firm. “You are in my home. You will be under my protection from all others. But I will not leave you defenseless against me.”
That was the truth of it. The mad, strategic, impulsive truth. Giving a weapon to my captive, my intended mate, was an act of profound foolishness. But what good was a mate whose spirit was broken by fear? Her fire was the very thing I craved. To douse it myself would be the act of a fool.
Slowly, hesitantly, she reached out one hand from the depths of the long leather sleeve. Her fingers were pale and surprisingly long. They brushed against mine as they closed around the worn grip of the hilt. A jolt, like a spark of lightning, shot up my arm at the brief contact. Her skin was warm. Alive.
She drew her hand back, the dagger now hers. She tested its weight, her grip shifting, settling into one of a person who knew how to use such a thing. The fear in her scent was almost gone now, replaced by the sharp, metallic tang of her focus. She was no longer just prey. I had given her fangs.
A tense silence stretched between us, thick with the unspoken. Finally, I broke it. “You will need your rest.”
I turned and led her toward the back of the longhouse, to the raised, curtained-off platform that was my personal sleeping quarters. It was a large space, dominated by a bed built of massive timbers and piled high with a mountain of wolf and bear furs. The bed symbolized power and status. And it was where she would sleep.
I pulled back the heavy fur curtain for her. Her eyes widened as she took in the bed, and a new kind of panic flared in her scent.
“This is my bed,” I stated simply. “It is yours now.”
I saw her swallow, her hand tightening on the dagger.
Before she could protest, I turned away and strode to a large chest at the foot of the bed. I pulled out a thick, folded bearskin rug. I carried it over to the hearth and unrolled it on the stone floor, a respectable distance from the sleeping platform.
“I will sleep here,” I said, my back to her. I began to unbuckle the heavy belt at my waist, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thud. “I’ve slept on colder ground with worse company. The fire is warm enough.”
I did not have to do this. I was the victor. The conqueror. She was mine by right of law and conquest. But the beast wanted to throw her over my shoulder and claim her. The man—the Orc—knew better. The hunt would be long. It would require patience. Strategy. And giving my quarry a sense of safety, a place to lower its hackles, was the first, most crucial step.
