“We both found comfort in our friendship. We saw each other every day: he would slip into the kitchen just to talk. Then, one day, he asked me to elope and become his countess. I’m afraid I got lost in dreams of what could be. I was so lonely and I saw myself going from an orphan to a married woman with a purpose and a family and a future. Edward told me I was the only person who understood him. And he was the only person I’d been able to talk to since my parents died. We mistook that for love.”
Julian wanted to touch her but kept himself in check. “What happened next?”
“We ran away together,” she said, looking down at her clasped hands. We took his carriage and fled to Scotland…to Gretna Green. But once we arrived, we decided that what we were doing was wrong, and we were about to return home when we ran into Uncle Carlton and Aunt Catherine. Well, at the time, she was not Aunt Catherine; she was Edward’s older sister.
“The whole thing was madness, and Uncle Carlton and Aunt Catherine still laugh about it today. They had pursued us to stop us from marrying, but along the way, they fell in love. Nothing happened between Edward and me, but Uncle Carlton and Aunt Catherine decided to take advantage of being in Gretna Green and got married,” she said.
Julian understood how loneliness and grief could make one do things they wouldn’t normally do. But he couldn’t help but wonder if they had kissed or even consummated their relationship before deciding they were not suited. Landonseemed like a good man. Not the kind to take advantage of a vulnerable girl, even if they had been intending to marry. And Serafina was beautiful and shapely and intelligent and kind—everything a man could ask for. Julian had to ask himself if he would have given in to temptation. He didn’t think he would have been able to resist her. And he would most certainly have married her.
“Edward and I discovered that we didn’t suit. When we finally started talking about our likes and dislikes…apart from the grief we had in common, we realized that we were quite opposite…I love to get up at dawn, and Edward quite detests it. I enjoy long walks, and I think Edward would prefer to sit astride a horse. And when I asked him if he would teach me to shoot—not to hunt, mind you, just to shoot targets. In any case, he looked at me as if I had grown horns.”
“I would teach you.”
“You would?”
“Yes.”
“I’d like that,” she said, beaming at him.
God, she was beautiful. He cleared his throat. “Was there any other reason to…indicate that you were not…suited to each other?” he asked. He turned to look out the window and waited, his shoulders tense.
“You mean, did we share a room?” she asked in a shy whisper.
He gave a brief nod. Then turned to her and took her hand in his. “You don’t have to tell me, but if you want, you can. It wouldn’t make a difference to me if you did,” he quickly added, already berating himself for asking.
“No.”
“No, you don’t want to tell me?”
“No, we didn’t share a room…we didn’t even kiss,” she said in a rush, her cheeks now a deep crimson. “Edward and I haddecided to wait until we were married to do anything like that. We always had separate rooms, presenting as brother and sister. But as I said, we realized we were better suited as friends. He’s not ready to marry, but whoever he does marry will be a lucky woman. Edward is a good man. The two of us have remained friends…but only friends,” she emphasized.
“Thank you for telling me,” he said softly, lifting her hand to his lips and placing a kiss on her palm. A wave of relief washed over him. Thinking that Landon had been intimate with Serafina had caused a surge of jealousy to course through him. While it would not have made a difference in his love for her. He was selfish enough to admit that he wanted to be the only man in her life. The only one who awakened her to the kind of passion he felt for her.
“I am sorry, Julian,” she said, ducking her head. “I’m so sorry for not telling you the truth sooner. I promise I was going to, but everything was moving so fast, and I could scarcely figure out my own mind.”
“I understand, Serafina.” How could he have been this lucky to meet this incredible woman? “And what about now? Have you figured out your own mind?” Here it was. The moment of truth. Would she tell him that she saw him in the same way as she saw Landon—as a friend? Or would she tell him the words that he desperately wanted to hear?
“How could I possibly want anyone else when I only want you?” she whispered, gazing up into her eyes.
He was taken aback by her statement. “And feel the same way about you,” Julian said, careful to make his point. “Finding you wasn’t anything I’d planned.”
“You believe me, don’t you?” she asked, her eyes clinging to his.
“I do,” he said, pulling her in for a kiss. His lips brushed over hers, drawn to the softness of her mouth. The kiss deepened ashis breath mingled with hers. His fingers gently traced the soft skin along her jaw and down her slender neck to cup the back of her head. His lips followed the same path as his fingers, and he heard her sigh so sweetly as he kissed her delicate shoulder. “I have a secret of my own that I want to share with you,” he said, his voice sounding gruff with his growing need for her.
“What secret?” she asked, her hands sliding up his back.
He wanted to keep kissing her, but he had to tell her.
“My name is indeed Julian, and I am an artist. I came to Bath for a short stay. But my last name is McAllister… And I’m the fifth Duke of Strathmoor.
“What?” she gasped, pulling away from him. Her eyes wide. “I’m not sure I understand. I thought…what about… You said you were Mr. Kerr.”
“Kerr is my mother’s family name. I came to Bath to grieve…” he said, reaching out to caress her face. “You see, I, too, understand the pain of loss. I lost both my parents and my older brother within two years. When my brother died, I was in shock to say the least. He’d been my hero, you see. But I had to focus on doing what I needed to do for my family. But then my mother became ill. Which I think had mostly to do with her grief, and she succumbed to a fever. And my father was never the same. He followed her soon after. And that left me alone, learning the role of a duke. Wes was my best friend—and I never once wanted his title. It was always supposed to behis.”
“That must have been such a painful loss. I had no siblings to mourn,” she said. “Only my parents. But losing your brother and your parents must have been so hard for you.” She slipped into his embrace and whispered against his chest, “I’m so sorry, Julian.”
“Thank you,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “It was the most painful time in my life. But I threw myself into my role as duke and scarcely had time to think about anything, least ofall my grief. Until my estate manager, a good man named Sean, encouraged me to take some time away. And so, I did.”
