When we stepped into the open meeting hall, Rob growled, “Me and Boone. The rest of you wait out there.”
“Yes, Alpha,” the pack members murmured as they filed back out.
I drew in a long breath. It pained my lungs after being out in the cold. I was in a pair of old sweats and a navy flannel. I hadn’t gotten around to putting on the socks or shoes I kept saved here.
Rob stared at me, his gaze dark and heavy. “Summer’s ex, Marty. He’s taken care of. Levi and Kyle will handle any human issues that arise, especially since he was a cop, but nothing should come up.”
I didn’t know what that meant exactly. He was being vague intentionally. If he wanted me to know more, he’d have said. So I let it go because I knew Marty would never hurt Summer again.
Yet that wasn’t why he called me in here to talk with me alone. It was just a warm-up, a reminder of what I’d done and how the pack had to take care of my mistake. The heaviness of being me descended like a lead blanket on my shoulders. I should apologize. Maybe beg for my life.
Instead, what tumbled out was the apology I’d never offered him. The one from fifteen years ago.
“I never wanted your place as Alpha,” I admitted.
Rob’s brows rose. It was obviously not the conversation he thought we’d be having.
“My dad wanted me to challenge you,” I continued. “I know you probably knew that. We fought, and I left. I don’t know why I never came clean with you.”
Rob rubbed the back of his neck. “Fuck, Boone, has that been eating at you all these years?”
I stared at him in a world of misery. I was suddenly sixteen again–the agony of being me so large it crushed me. I cleared my throat before I continued. “I didn’t want you to banish my family. We needed this pack–desperately.” I raised my hand and pointed in the direction of the other room where the others waited. “My brothers did. Your parents were everything after our mom died. And then–”
“Hang on, Boone.” Rob held up a hand to halt my stilted stream of words. “If you think you owe me an apology, you’re out of your goddamn mind. Yeah, I knew. I mean, I figured. You were gone, and your father looked like hell for a few weeks while he healed. He was also a grumpy asshole. I knew for sure when he tried to force Roy into fighting me for the job a few years later. Do you think I ever blamed you for that?”
I ran my fingers through my hair. I wasn’t even in the state at that time and had only heard of what happened long after. “Well, you might’ve seen me as a threat.”
“Is that why you stayed away all those years?” Rob sounded incredulous. “In New York City of all fucking places?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I mean partly. Also, because the fight with my dad was a relationship ender. I nearly killed him.”
Rob didn’t seem surprised. All I saw was understanding in his expression. “That must’ve scared you.”
Somehow, in our world of alpha male pack life, I’d never expected that kind of straight-shooting. Or compassion. Our dad sure as hell never talked about or validated anyone’s feelings. Especially a male being scared.
My nose burned. “Yeah. Well, it scared Roy and Ace. So I figured it was better for everyone if I stayed away.”
Rob took a step closer to me and dropped a hand on my shoulder. “Boone, I owe you an apology. I should’ve called you when you were in New York. Or visited. I figured something had gone down with your dad, especially because your brothers seemed like they were covering something up, but I was, uh, trying to figure out how to deal with my grief over losing our parents at the same time I learned how to lead a pack.”
My eyes burned. “Yeah, of course you were. I never expected you to reach out.”
“Well, I should have,” he replied. “And I’m sorry. Because maybe if you’d known I never blamed you for any of it, you wouldn’t have stayed away.”
He was sorry?
“I stayed away because I’m dangerous.” My voice sounded like it had been cut by blades.
I heard the sound of a truck pulling up outside. Some more pack members joining us, perhaps.
Rob shook his head. “You’re not dangerous, Boone. You’re my cousin, which makes you an alpha wolf. You’re protective as hell, as you’re supposed to be. It’s in our blood.”
I stared at him. I wanted to believe what he was saying, but the evidence didn’t back it up. I always went too far. I fucked things up.
“Have you ever hurt someone who didn’t have it coming, Boone?” he asked.
I was sweating, the conflict with me feeling like bumper cars colliding in my brain. “I…I don’t know.”
Rob shook his head. “I know. You haven’t. Summer’s ex? He would have eventually killed her. I saw what he’d done to her already. Pack justice would have sentenced him to death. You’re not a danger, Boone. You’re just alpha as fuck. We come from a long blood line of alpha wolves.”
