It seemed obvious why. Boone had quickly become everything to me. So much more than Marty. More than anyone in my life. What we had was a deep soul connection. Or a fated connection, I guessed he would say.
No wonder it felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and put in the blender.
And suddenly, it became clear. I’d been feeling sorry for myself. Angry with Boone for abandoning me when I needed him most, but that wasn’t true.
He needed me right now.
He had been there when I needed him most. Now, it was my turn to be strong. For him.
He was staying away out of his love and protection for me. Because he was functioning under the faulty assumption that he wasn’t safe for me.
Oh Boone.
I’m too dangerous. I… I could’ve hurt you. If we had pups, and I did this…
God, I felt awful for him. My heart hurt because I realized how much he must be hurting. Thinking the worst.
Boone had rescued me, as I’d known with all certainty he would. He’d rescued me, and my reaction had been shock and fear. That triggered his deepest wound. His fear of harming me drove him away and kept him there.
I had to figure out how to get him back. How to reassure him that I wasn’t afraid of him. That I knew all the way to my bones that he’d never hurt me or… our pups.
Pups. What an adorable word.
God, I hadn’t wanted to have kids before. Or at least not with Marty. I thought that even from the beginning–I’d known on some subconscious level that he’d be a terrible dad.
But Boone would be fucking amazing.
And yeah. I wanted to have his pups.
I took a quick shower and got dressed, suddenly motivated. I had to find Boone. He needed me right now, and I wasn’t going to curl up and play victim.
I went down to Rand and Natalie’s for coffee and found them in the farmhouse kitchen. Natalie was spreading jelly on a piece of toast. She abandoned it and grabbed a mug for me and reached for the coffee pot.
“Ace spent the night at Boone’s place, but he never came back,” I announced without even a good morning.
Natalie handed me the full cup of coffee, and I poured some cream in. Sighed.
“Cody checked the security cameras of the saloon parking lot and said the truck’s still there,” Rand reported.
A little relief registered knowing everyone was taking this seriously. I wasn’t the only one who cared about Boone.
I blinked back tears. “Where do you think he is? Do you think he got hit by a car or something?”
Rand shook his head. “Definitely not. But even if he did, he’d be okay. He’d heal up fast. Wolf shifters are very hard to kill.”
Right. A little more relief trickled through my chest.
“Okay, so he’s probably not hurt. He’s just… staying away?”
Rand’s expression was serious. “It seems so.”
“Well, what can we do? How can we find him? I can’t just sit here.” I couldn’t stop the edge of desperation from creeping into my voice.
Rand pulled out his phone. “I’m calling Rob,” he said.
Rob. That was good. He was the alpha wolf. He’d know what to do.
At least I hoped he would.
