I laugh lightly. I really like the relationship he has with his friends, even more so knowing what I do about his family.
“They said we might need to hold hands or kiss in public so people wouldn’t question this…” I point between us. “Is that what this is?” I ask then quickly add, “It’s okay. I don’t mind a little public display of affection. I just thought we should talk about it, so things don’t get confusing.”
Because when he touches me, I forget this isn’t real.
“Very few of my actions with you have been to please other people. Least of all holding your hand.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to kiss you just to prove we’re not faking it.”
That should be comforting but it isn’t.
“But if you want to kiss me, go for it.”
I laugh, the sound a little too strained. He joins in, the playfulness making my pulse pick up speed.
“You do, don’t you?” His eyes light up. “You want me to kiss you.”
His tone is awe-filled, shocked like he’s just put together the epic mystery of his wife and her repressed feelings.
“What?” My voice is squeaky, slightly unhinged. I scoff. “No. I…”
His grin is entirely too wide and happy. Somehow, he can see right through me.
“You’re hoping I’m going to kiss you.” He studies my face for any response, but I give him nothing. I barely breathe.
“Is it the sweater?” He pulls back slightly so I can get a good look at it. “My cologne?”
“That is not…” I trail off and shake my head.
“I’m going to figure out what does it for you, darling. And then, watch out. You’ll be begging me to kiss you again.”
“Highly unlikely.”
His grin is all confidence.
Even talking about kissing has my stomach in knots. The talking and the hand-holding and the giant diamond ring. It’s too much.
“Maybe we should do it and get it over with.”
“Get it over with?” He looks appalled at my suggestion.
“It’s just that we’ve already kissed.”
“Oh, I know.”
“That night is this hazy memory that feels almost like a dream. And now we’re married and there’s all this tension and anticipation when we’re together in public. We’re not together but we’ve been together. My brain and my body are struggling to make sense of it all. Maybe if we kiss it’ll make things easier. Like exposure therapy.”
His stare is unwavering as he says, “Let me get this straight. You want me to kiss you to ease the sexual tension between us?”
Not how I would have phrased it, but accurate enough. I nod.
He chuckles like he thinks my plan is absurd. Maybe it is.
“Please?” My stomach can’t take three more months of this. I’m a ball of anxiety any time he’s close.
His hand moves to the side of my neck. Goosebumps race down my arms, and my pulse picks up speed.
