“Yep.” The math works out.
I pull on my seat belt and plug in my phone for navigation. When I’m done, Kinsley is silent and turned in her seat staring at me.
“What?”
“Yep? That’s all I get?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t stop obsessing over this thing with Travis. I know I’ve been shit company this whole trip.”
“Yes.”
“I can’t help it. I’m so mad I can’t think about anything else. Did you see my first dismount this morning? I almost landed on my face.”
She lets out a small laugh. “I did, yeah. It was tough to watch. Almost as tough as this.” She waves a hand in front of my face. “I know you’re spinning about the fight with Travis, but you two will work it out.”
“Will we?” I ask and I really want to know. I can’t see through it, but I trust her. “Because I can’t see myself just forgetting about this and moving on like nothing happened.”
“He fucked up. He should have told you, yes. And he should have listened to you.”
“I sense a but.” I narrow my gaze in warning.
“Not a but, just…honestly, I would have done the same thing in his shoes. If Skylar needed something and I could give it to her, I would.”
“Even if she told you not to do it?”
She shrugs. “It depends on the situation, of course, but if it were money, then yeah, I’d be tempted.”
“It isn’t the same. You two have been together for longer. You’re solid.”
“And you and Travis aren’t? I’ve seen you together. I’m not trying to minimize his actions or how they made you feel, but I’ve had to watch you struggle too, and if it was hard for me to watch, then I know it had to be for Travis. He adores you and you let him take care of you in a way you don’t let a lot of other people.”
“And look where that got us.” I throw up both hands in the air.
My friend gives me a small, pitying smile. “I’m going to say something you’re not going to like very much.”
I glare at her as my body stiffens in preparation for this awful thing she’s going to say.
“Your parents died when you were young, and you took on a lot of responsibility for yourself and for Wren.”
That was not what I expected. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Her smile goes slack. “Do you think there’s any chance you’re reacting this way because you’re worried you’ll get used to Travis taking care of you and then he’ll leave?”
My brows pinch together. “No. Travis has been great. He’s always telling me how much he likes me and how he wants to be with me. And more than that, he shows me.”
“But people don’t always leave because they want to.”
Her words dig their way into my chest. My throat tightens because yes, sometimes people leave for other reasons. Like my parents.
“Look. I can’t pretend to know what it was like for you, but I can speculate that because your parents died when you were young and depended on them, that it’s scary to let someone in and let them take care of you. And Travis has taken damn good care of you, almost against your will. You had to deal with it because of the situation, but I think along the way you started to like it more and more. It’s okay to be freaked out about losing that or him. I panic at least once a week that Skylar is going to get struck by lightning or decide she can’t live with a person who waits until we’re out of milk to buy more. Relationships are scary.”
Hot tears prick my eyes.
“He still should have told me,” I say, angrily as my eyes leak. I’m not sad. I’m mad, dammit. Okay, maybe a little sad.
And if I’m scared, it isn’t that he’ll leave. It’s that if things end, for whatever reason, I’ll never recover. I’m already changed forever by knowing him. In another month or year, how much worse will it feel to lose him then?
“He should have,” she agrees. “He messed up. And he probably will again. No, I take that back. He definitely will again. So will you.”
