“He’s going to be fine,” Desmond said faintly after we shut the door to the exam room and walked down the corridor to the waiting room. “He had a fit while driving, drove onto the curb, and crashed into a storefront. Thankfully, he was driving slowly, and his injuries aren’t as bad as they could’ve been. A mild concussion, two broken bones in his right leg, and many cuts to his face and arms. They need to fix his medications, and he won’t be driving for a while, but at least he’s alive.”
When we reached the waiting room, now mostly empty, I turned to him. His eyes were moist, and he was looking vulnerable. I could imagine how hard the night must have been on him.
“Oh, Desmond,” I breathed out. “I’m so sorry.”
His hands were on either side of my shoulders in an instant, and he seemed like he wanted to cry. He put his forehead on mine for a minute, just shaking, and when he looked up, getting ahold of himself, he pulled me to him and held me tight.
“He’s alive,” he repeated, more to himself as his arms went around my shoulders. “He’s alive.”
I leaned against him, feeling a well of relief. We stood quietly, holding each other, when a slight noise reminded us of the nurses walking past us. Stepping away, I remembered the café I’d seen on the first floor.
“Perhaps I can get you a cup of coffee?” I asked.
It was a little after seven, but I didn’t think Desmond would be leaving Brody’s side anytime soon.
I glanced at him. His brown eyes were distant, his face weary. He had dark under-eye circles, and he was frowning, a faraway look in his eyes, as though he hadn’t heard me.
“I checked my phone’s call log and saw that Brody had called me. He was conscious after the crash for a bit. He called me a couple of times. He had crashed into a store two blocks down. I could’ve gotten to him in five minutes, Ava. But I didn’t. He slipped in and out of consciousness, and it was a good fifteen minutes before someone passing by called 911 and the ambulance reached him. Luckily, no one else was injured. What would have happened, Ava, if Ellie and Nick hadn’t been available? I was so irresponsible. I could have gotten to him on time. He was two blocks away, for heaven’s sake.”
He wasn’t putting up any walls this time or hiding his emotions. Desmond was blaming himself again, and I wished it didn’t feel so ominous.
“Come to the café with me,” I insisted. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
After checking in on Brody once more, who was still asleep, we went down to the cafeteria for a bite. Grabbing croissants, we walked out onto the street.
“I always check in to make sure he’s reached home safely,” Desmond said, leaving his croissant untouched. “If only I’d done it that night, I could’ve gotten to him on time. Hewouldn’t have to deal with a concussion in addition to his existing problems,” Desmond said, his head in his hand.
I put my arm around him, not knowing what to say.
“What was the point of my learning CPR, or making sure Brody’s home was safe for him, or, hell, making sure my home was safe in case he fell when I couldn’t even check in on him to make sure he had reached home safely?”
I blinked in the hazy light of dawn, stopping on the footpath to turn to him. For a minute, our eyes roved over each other’s faces, neither of us moving. He was searching my face for something with eyes that looked tired, strained, and worried.
“After I lost Mom,” Desmond began, turning to look away from me, “I promised myself that I would always be there for my family. The ones I had left at least. But once again, when they needed me, I was nowhere to be found. I was in bed with you, besotted, losing my mind.”
I stared at him, feeling a tendril of defiance. “Are you blaming me?”
He shook his head. “No, not you. Me. I was the one to blame. I should have remembered to check up on him instead of dragging you off to the bedroom.”
I put a calming hand on his arm. “We’ll be careful the next time,” I began when he cut me short.
“There will be no next time.”
I drew my hand back. “What do you mean?”
“After my aunt died and my uncle got Alzheimer’s, I became responsible for Brody. Even though he is an adult, I consider myself to be something of a guardian to him. And last night, I let him down, Ava. Something I cannot risk happening again. I don’t want to make this mistake again, Ava. I don’t want to do it and risk losing Brody.”
I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry. “Do you mean that you don’t want to be with me and risk losing Brody?”
He gave me a look that seemed like death before he finally nodded.
I stared back at him in disbelief. “Last night, you told me that you wanted to go public with our relationship. The same night, Brody got into an accident, and you’re letting me go, just like that? We go back to being miserably single again?”
He didn’t say anything.
“Desmond, I know why this is scary. I know what this reminds you of—losing your mom. It must bring back some terrifying memories. But this isn’t the same. Brody is going to be fine.”
“Brody has a concussion, and the doctors don’t know what long-term effects this might have on his health.”
