“Was that your date?” he asked, looking very much like he wanted to punch the nearest wall.
“If you’re asking if Hank’s the man I went out with once, yes. But he wasn’t here to take me out,” I explained. “He was in the neighborhood and dropped in to say hi.”
He put his hand on the wall next to him, bracing himself as he took a few heavy breaths. His deeply lidded eyes met mine in a challenge. “Well, why aren’t you down there, saying hi to him then?”
Even in his anger, I could see the vulnerability in him. A vulnerability I hadn’t seen in him before.
No matter what he says, he isn’t succeeding in convincing me that he doesn’t care.
He does.
I sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t want to speak with him. I’d much rather be here, speaking with you.”
He seemed to calm down a little, and that gave me the courage to speak further.
“Every night when I go to bed, I go over what we did in that restroom,” I said, sounding anguished. “And I can’t seem to decide if I’m sorry that it ended that way or if I’m sorry that we kissed again in the first place.”
“Well,” he said, running his hand through his hair and looking conflicted, “if it helps, the only thing I regret about that kiss was that it happened in a restroom.”
My eyes widened in disbelief.
“If I had it my way, Ava, I’d be kissing you on your doorstep when I dropped you at home after a date at an exclusive Italian restaurant, where you’d kept me on edge all through dinner, where I’d had to be content only with holding your hand while I ached to be closer to you. I’d kiss you under a sky that was as mesmerizing as you. I’d kiss you in many places, sweetheart, but hiding in the restroom isn’t one of them. And I apologize for that.”
My head spun with his admission while he struggled to keep his expression from looking pained. I kept my gaze on him, unable to tear it away. Desmond’s features, soft under the yellow overhead lights, reminded me of the boy from years ago.
“I go through my workday meeting with hundreds of people,” he continued. “But the only person I want to see works in the lobby, and I never run into you. I feel jealous of the people who can just walk up to you and talk to you. It’s such a simple thing that I can’t do.”
I held my breath. It felt different, hearing him talking about wanting me. We hadn’t been inappropriate. I could go back to thinking about that kiss in a more favorable light. Like how it had been one of my top ten kisses in my life.Like how I’d give anything to have another one like that … like right about now.
“Being friends with you isn’t good enough for me, Ava.”
I thought of the times I spent scanning the floor of the lobby for a sign of him, a head that easily stood out among others, well groomed and all angles. All the times I turned around at the sound of heavy footsteps at work, only to turn away with a sigh of disappointment that he wasn’t walking past.
“It isn’t working for me either.”
His eyes cut to me. “Don’t tell me you want us to have no contact going forward, Ava. Because that simply will not do.”
I inhaled. “No, that isn’t what I meant.”
He drew closer to me. “You know what the highlight of my day is? Standing here with you. This is the best part of my day. And now, imagining saying goodbye to you, seeing you walk off with Hank, is killing me. I want you, and I can’t be with you. I can’t have you.”
I put my hand in his. I should’ve known this. I should’ve known we couldn’t fight the attraction for much longer. And the reason I kept giving in to every attempt he’d made to meet me was the same as his. I couldn’t stay away from him either.
“I live for the sight of you walking past the café every morning, Desmond,” I whispered. “I save it to memory, hoping I’ll catch more than just a fleeting glimpse of you. Hoping I’ll run into you in the elevator. Hoping … I can kiss you again. I think I’m going crazy from being close to you, but not close enough.”
His hand squeezed mine, and he put it next to his heart. “I leave work in two hours. Come home with me tonight,” he whispered. “Just this once. We’ll be Desmond and Ava—the ones we were a long time ago. Not the people we are today.”
I heard the longing in his voice, and it reflected the longing I felt in my heart.
“I can’t give you what Hank can, Ava. I can’t take you out to dinners or walk hand in hand with you through Central Park. All I can give you is me, in the privacy of my home. Is that enough?”
My voice was soft when I spoke. “I’ve only ever wanted you, Desmond. But … the last time we kissed, you brought up the company policy.”
Will he regret tonight just the same?
His eyes were serious when he responded, “Sweetheart, there’re a great many things a man will risk for a woman like you. This company is one of them.” He put his fingers under my chin and lifted my gaze up to his. His eyes were honest, fierce, and daring. “Come back home with me tonight,” he repeated in a tone that told me he wouldn’t be taking no for an answer.
My cheeks burned as I considered Desmond wanting me, and I saw the need in his eyes.
