I nodded.
We’d been each other’s firsts. First person we called in the mornings when we woke up, first lovers in bed, first long-term relationship. I knew the tone of his voice so well that I could tell if he was having a good day or if he’d just had an argument back home over his test scores and needed to get away from home for a little bit. When he had good days, he’d take me out to ice cream and tell me that he loved me over melting chocolate and kisses. When he had his bad days, which were usually days when our grades came out, well, those were the days I’d go over to his place with his favorite pizza and we’d eat it together on the front steps of his apartment. His mom didn’t truly like me, so, even though we had to keep our voices low and pretend I wasn’tthere, it was worth it because Desmond always seemed happier after I visited. When he’d shut me out of his life, my heart had shut down too. I was incapable of loving as freely as I had done before.
I held his gaze, his liquid brown eyes on mine. I could feel the rise and fall of my chest, and the moment stretched out, neither of us taking our eyes away from the other.
“And yet, here you are, helping me fix things with my mom’s restaurant,” I whispered. “Why, Desmond?”
He reached for his cuff links, fiddling with them as he looked away. He thought for a minute before he looked up at me. “You know, Ava, I’m terribly sorry for the way I treated you in the past.”
I watched his face carefully. I had gotten him to address that painful event at last, but I realized the pain of that breakup had been dulled by a more recent loss.
“I broke up with you after Mom died.” His hands tightened into fists. “I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven myself for not being with her when that happened,” Desmond said, his voice shaking. “In the weeks after mom’s death, I was emotionally unavailable as a boyfriend, and I could see that I was hurting you. The only thing I could think of to make things better was to give up on us. That way, you couldn’t have expectations that were dashed. But I realize that I hurt you way more by breaking up with you than anything else, and I’m so sorry for that.”
I cast him a quick glance. I was glad for an apology, but I wasn’t sure if I held it against him anymore.
“When I saw you at the office on your first day, I didn’t think I’d end up spending more time with you. Especially because, after we broke up, I hoped—I always hoped—you’d at least be happy even if it was not with me. But finding out about the troubles you went through after yourmom’s passing … well, that part got to me.” He hesitated. “What happened?” he asked.
I stared at my shoes, feeling hollow. “It was a hear—you know what? I don’t want to talk about it.”
He nodded. “She touched so many people’s lives. Remember her book club friends? They loved her. They used to come over every Thursday and bring those wonderful cookies.”
“Hmm.” I looked away, avoiding his gaze. I felt uncomfortable with this.
“Ava”—he paused, a quizzical look in his eye—“are you okay? I’m sorry I never asked you this, but how have you been since her loss? I don’t like the idea of you being unhappy.”
“I’ve been fine. I’m not unhappy. Just bitter—that’s all.”
He looked at me and reached for my hand. Taking it, he gave it a squeeze. “Ava, I promise you, we’ll find Kyle and make him pay. You’ll get your mom’s restaurant back up and running, and you’ll do an amazing job in helping to ensure her legacy endures.” Desmond let his gaze rest on me gently for a few seconds before he shook his head. “Besides, my Ava, bitter? Not a chance.”
I felt a pang in my chest. I hadn’t been his Ava in ten years. And I didn’t want to deal with the ache and longing I felt when I heard those words.
“I’m busy all of tomorrow,” Desmond continued. “Unfortunately, there’s a party I’m required to attend in the evening. But the day after, I could check in with you to hear about how your call with Kyle’s McDonald’s manager went.”
I nodded. “I’ll keep you posted.” I turned to him with a grin. “Though that must be a terrible social event if you have to be forced into going,” I said.
My evenings comprised dodging shady people on mywalk home from the subway station and finding creative ways to stay warm in an apartment where the heater broke down ever so often.
“I’m not exactly being forced into it,” he said, bending his head back. “But you know me. I find social events to be quite a bore.”
“The trick is to make sure you have good company,” I said without thinking.
He stared at me for a minute, and I had an instant understanding of what he was contemplating.
I gaped at him.
“Oh my God, no, that’s not what I was suggesting,” I said immediately. He was my boss, for God’s sake. I did not want my boss to think I was inviting myself out on a date with him. “I meant with someone else, of course. Anyone else.”
“Of course,” he said, nodding. “Though it’s a pity I can’t take you, you know,” he said, sounding regretful. He gave me a meaningful look. “From what I remember, you made a great guest at parties.”
I felt my cheeks go warm. “Well, as your employee, it would be inappropriate,” I said. “So, let’s not talk about it.”
Desmond stared at me with a chuckle, and I could read his body language very well. He bowed his head for a moment before he looked up, head held high.
He shook his head as he looked at me, his voice earnest. “I agree. By the way, you’re prettier than I remember, you know? I didn’t think that was possible.”
I blushed just as the car slowed to a stop. “You’re handsomer than I remember, too, but I always knew you would be.”
Our eyes met. Desmond’s lips parted, and his eyes showed he was pleasantly surprised. I’d always believed inthe best of him and the man he would grow to be in the future.
