“What, Trevor? Just say it.”
Rather than hesitating, he dove right in. “It’s been two years since you’ve seen Jay, and this will be the first time you’re fighting him.”
“And? What’s your point?”
“I’ve been following his career, and he’s good. He’s going to be a formidable opponent.”
“Again, what’s your point?” The muscles in my forearms started to ache with the number of times I clenched my fists.
“My point is, I don’t want your past to cloud your future. I don’t want you getting in that ring with him and unleashing your rage and forgetting all your training. My fear is that he’s going to use how you feel about him against you.”
“And win? You think he can beat me?”
“Only if you let him,” he said matter-of-factly.
“That’s not going to happen.” Trevor nodded, but I could see by the pull of his brows that he didn’t believe me. “Anything else?” I asked as I slung the towel over my shoulder.
This time he shook his head, the gesture doing nothing to calm the sea of unrest sloshing around inside me. I hated to admit it, but I was also worried that as soon as I stepped into the ring with Jay, I’d see red and allow my anger to fuel the fight rather than harnessing my training.
I had to do something beforehand to make sure that didn’t happen, but I had no idea what that could be.
There was a darkness inside me I couldn’t seem to get rid of, and although I’d been able to somewhat control it these past sixteen years, it lurked in the shadows, looking for the perfect opportunity to be unleashed. One of the main reasons I became a fighter, other than I was damn good at it, was so that I’d never allow another person to make me feel weak and vulnerable ever again.
I texted Sophie that I was ready for my post-workout routine and hit the showers. When I emerged from the men’s locker room, I ran right into her, almost knocking her over.
“I was wondering where you went,” she said, smiling at me as if we hadn’t just seen each other a couple hours ago. I could get lost in her so easily that it both thrilled and scared me.
“Sorry, the water felt too good. I took longer than expected.” I winked at her and smiled. “I should’ve stayed in longer. That way when you came in there looking for me, I could’ve convinced you to join me.”
“The last time I walked in on you in there wasn’t ideal.”
“Oh, the good old days,” I teased, squeezing her hand and leading her toward the back room. She snatched her hand from mine, and I groaned my disapproval.
“You know the rules, mister.”
“The rules suck.”
“Aww, are you pouting?” She twisted the top off her bottle of oil and poured some into her hands, jerking her chin toward the closest chair.
“I don’t pout. I get what I want.”
“Is that so?” She stepped behind me and ran her hands over my shoulders, massaging the oil into my skin. She worked her fingers into my muscles, making me forget whatever it was we were talking about.
My earlier conversation with the guys drifted away, and my worry over seeing Jay again evaporated. All that mattered was how well Sophie worked me over.
And in about forty-five minutes, I’d be workingherover.
33
The second we stepped into my apartment, Jackson grabbed hold of my hand and led me toward my bedroom. We barely made it inside before he stripped us both of our clothes.
“Are you in a hurry?” I laughed when he wiggled his brows and pushed me onto the bed.
“To get inside you, yes. But once I’m there, I’m going to take my time.”
“I don’t have any problem with that.”
“I didn’t think you would,” he replied, his mouth lingering inches from mine, teasing me. I lifted my head off the pillow and tried to kiss him, but he pulled away before I could, the slight curve of his mouth telling me everything: he wanted to be in control, to set the pace. I was only too thrilled to let him. “I need you,” he said, spreading my legs and resting his hips over mine. The tip of his arousal pressed against my clit, and a shiver of deliciousness raced through me.
