The lay brothers brought out a dappled pony who appeared fairly placid. She held out her hand and the pony immediately nuzzled it. She caught a mischievous glint in the pony’s eye and knew that it would try to get the better of her.
‘This one shall suit me fine.’
The monk frowned. ‘That one…’
‘Plays tricks? I like a pony with a bit of spirit.’
‘My lady has spoken.’
Svanna breathed out. After what had passed between them, she dared to hope that he would finally start listening to her and allow her to make decisions. Somehow, she’d figure out a way to demonstrate to him that she could be a good mother to his little girl and that they should take her with them to Tara. Despite Rand’s concerns, how could a grandfather’s heart stay hard when confronted with a young child?
Astrid had been right—she had to take advantage of this time. Instead of remaining hidden, waiting for a rescue which would never come, like she’d done that long-ago day in Agthir, she needed to take risks to prove her worth. Hopefully, she would be able to do this quickly with Birdie and, if necessary, with the running of Rand’s household. But the one thing she refused to risk was her heart.
Chapter Eleven
From its well-tended fields outside the large circular earthworks to the bustling centre with its hall and round tower, Rand’s ringfort was larger and better presented than Svanna had envisioned. The healthy cattle and sheer number of chickens showed Rand clearly ran a prosperous estate, even if he was not there as often as he’d like. As they neared the fort, the butterflies in her stomach had turned into rampaging cattle. She was going to meet her new daughter and much depended on her getting the first meeting with Birdie right.
‘This has become one of my favourite places in the whole world,’ Rand said, gesturing about him. ‘If I could, I’d never leave.’
‘When you said ringfort, I didn’t think it would be this large.’
‘You look surprised,’ he said, handing his reins to a servant and dismounting.
He strode over to her and held out his hand.
‘I had no expectations,’ Svanna confessed as she clutched his hand and dismounted from the pony she’d christened Star because of the white blaze on her forehead. ‘Unlike Agthir or Islay, but it exudes prosperity.’
‘I have worked to ensure it, but thankfully I have many servants who do the jobs assigned to them without too much grumbling. Not bad for a sell-sword who had to flee Agthir.’
His words sounded slightly pompous, but Svanna could hear the real pride underneath. He cared deeply for this land and its inhabitants. She’d half-hoped that she could quickly demonstrate her prowess at running a household, but she would struggle to improve on what was there. All she could hope was that Birdie needed her guidance.
A little girl with shining copper curls ran out of the stone round tower which stood at one side of the main hall and threw her arms around Rand’s middle.
‘Oh, my papa, my papa! My papa is home!’
‘My daughter comes to greet me! All is right with the world.’ Rand gathered the little girl in his arms and swung her around and around.
The mirrored happiness on their faces made Svanna’s heart ache. It was as if suddenly Rand had become truly alive and she was intruding. She winced slightly and knew that he had told her the truth back on Islay about only living for his daughter, and her heart had chosen to ignore it. But she was used to being considered second-best.
It was how Astrid had always treated her. Not unkindly, but she’d been aware that Astrid would have preferred her real daughter to be at her side. Was it wrong of her to want to be the focus of someone’s life? She allowed the self-pity for another heartbeat and then stuffed it down deep inside her. Wishing failed to alter reality and watching the father and daughter’s joy was beautiful to behold. Svanna quietly resolved to become Birdie’s friend. It would be good to think that one day the little girl might greet her with half that much affection.
‘You should have sent a messenger,’ the little girl said with a frown, stroking his cheek. ‘Nurse would have prepared a meal. All we have is hard cheese, hard bread or pottage. Ugh.’
‘Did you think I would stay away, Birdie? From my best girl?’ Rand asked with a light-hearted laugh. Svanna caught a glimpse of the boy she’d shared that long-ago flirtation with, the one she had considered must be confined to a fading memory. He’d spoken the truth about his daughter being the only person who could bring him to life. That secret place inside her had been wrong in hoping for anything more than the faint consideration a man owed his lawful wife. But now she knew and could adjust, thankfully before Rand realised her growing feelings for him. She could put that shield back in place.
The girl’s face puckered in thought and Svanna could see the resemblance to Rand. Birdie would break many hearts one day. ‘I didn’t know. Auntie Rhiannon said you were bound to. Because my grandfather takes you away.’
At the woman’s name Rand’s face became thunderous. He put the little girl down abruptly. She looked up at him with a confused expression.
‘Your auntie has been here? Tell the truth, Bridget. Is she still here?’
Birdie slowly shook her head. ‘I wasn’t supposed to say anything. I gave my promise and everything.’ She put her hands over her mouth. ‘Oh, my saints and angels.’
Rand glanced towards where the round tower loomed. ‘Where is your auntie? Perhaps in the tower, waiting like a spider? Playing a game of hide and seek with me?’
Birdie vigorously shook her copper curls. ‘Rhiannon and Uncle Thorarinn were here, but they left early this morning because the rain had stopped.’
‘Do you know why?’
