‘We need to speak about the marriage and our expectations.’
He picked up another stone and tossed it into the bay, making it skip. ‘What are you saying?’
She swallowed hard. This was far harder than when she had practiced it. ‘Ours will be a strategic marriage, Rand, not a runaway love match like your cousin’s. I wanted to let you know that I am not looking for more than to be useful. I will run the household and serve as a foster-mother for your daughter.’
‘Birdie’s mother is dead. Her nurse looked after my late wife and her sisters.’
‘A difference exists between a nurse and a mother.’
He raised a brow. ‘And you know all about it?’
‘Before Astrid, I suffered with a stepmother. I endured my nurse, who had once been Astrid’s. I would see your daughter right.’ Svanna shrugged. ‘All I require in return is respect in public.’
A small part of her willed him to take her in his arms, kiss her senseless and tell her that he wanted her. That even the smallest part of her remained enthralled by the romance of him, despite everything she’d witnessed and endured, disconcerted her. He was never going to care for her. He’d made that quite plain, and that bit of her kept hoping, even though she didn’t want to.
He reached out and lifted her chin. In the starlit darkness, he examined her face. His thumb traced the outline of her mouth, sending warm pulses coursing through her. ‘A platonic strategic marriage is what you envisage. Or are you trying to put words in my mouth again?’
‘The union was forced on you. We should discuss this sensibly before we go further.’ She was pleased that her voice did not become high-pitched, even though her stomach knotted.
‘Sensibly?’ His thumb traced the outline of her mouth again. More slowly this time. Her entire being tingled in anticipation. ‘You are the one who behaved in a rash fashion. You appear to do that quite a lot, Svanna. Rushing into burning buildings, heedless of the consequences to your life.’
‘Ask anyone,’ she whispered. ‘Those who know me say that I am cautious—too cautious.’
‘A platonic marriage is truly what you want? You don’t want this?’
His thumb traced the outline of her mouth a third time. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and encountered the edge of his thumb. She rapidly retreated, taking two steps backwards and nearly stumbling over. She put out a hand to steady herself and encountered his tunic. What did it say about her that the thought didn’t repel her as much as she’d imagined it would? That rebelliously hopeful part of her kept whispering that the possibilities were there. ‘Unnecessary in the circumstances.’
He hauled her against his hard chest. ‘We can’t have you twisting your ankle before the marriage.’
‘I’ve no intention of twisting my ankle.’
‘If people had the intention they would never get hurt, but, my fair lady, to put your mind at ease, I’ve little intention of having a platonic marriage with you.’ A hearty laugh made his frame shake. She wished she could interpret the expression in his eyes.
‘Why are you doing this?’
‘Because, Ice Maiden, our marriage mustn’t be in name only. Alliances are always strengthened with blood and that means children—our children. I assume you know how children are made.’
She wrapped her arms about her waist. Ice Maiden was what he thought she was. She had heard the term before and embraced it. But since encountering him again, he’d penetrated that hard shell which had kept her feelings and her desire at bay since Turgeis’s assault in the garden all those years ago. That fact terrified and intrigued her in equal measure. What was it about him that made her long for his touch?
‘I’m unafraid of the physical,’ she said, choosing her words with care. Confessing now what Turgeis had tried to do to her and how she’d kept herself apart from such things ever after solved nothing. She had to put the past fear behind her. With Rand, she’d never felt frightened, but she also didn’t want to ask for more than he was prepared to give. ‘I wanted to give you the option.’
‘Know that all my women have been willing. I’ve no intention of changing. Where would the pleasure be taken from an unwilling one?’
‘You want your women to enjoy you,’ she said slowly. ‘Men say that and then things get out of hand. I have seen much of that in Agthir. The usurper’s feasts were notorious in the end. Astrid always made certain that we left early.’
‘You would know more about that than I.’ His voice held a note of hesitancy, as if he had not intended to put it that way.
She waved her hand. ‘We proceed at my pace. Good. I’ll let you know when our marriage may alter from the platonic.’
His thumb and forefinger captured her chin. Her lips parted, giving a lie to her words. Her body protested that she wanted his mouth on hers now. She wanted him to erase all memory of the pawing she’d received from Turgeis, but she feared he wouldn’t and that would make things harder to bear. What if Turgeis had spoilt her for ever and her reaction to Rand was merely wishful thinking?
‘Are you trying to get me to wager? I’ll admit the chase adds spice.’
‘I explained the necessity of a quick marriage, but we need time to get to know each other. We will have a working partnership for many years. As my foster-mother had with both her husbands. Trust builds over time,’ she said, her words tripping over each other.
‘I pulled you from a burning building.’
‘I’m willing to learn to trust. Are you used to women falling into your bed simply because you crook your little finger? Lord Sigmund’s assessment.’
