‘Rand, please. We are now friends, Svanna, after what we have been through.’ He tilted his head to one side. ‘Or are you going to deny it?’
She dipped her head slightly, carefully trying to preserve her hard-won poise, but the warmth of his tone sent ripples down her spine. She silently cursed. There were many good reasons why she should not be attracted to this man, starting with what had happened back in Agthir and ending with the problems currently facing Halfr. ‘Rand, then. Is something amiss with my foster-mother?’
‘The Queen rests comfortably. The priest asked me to tell you that he wants you to visit this afternoon and not before.’
The muscles in her neck eased. She sent a silent prayer of thanksgiving to any god who might be listening. ‘Is there anything else I should know?’
‘Any remaining king will swear fidelity to Sigmund later today. Sigmund has set a work party to making a platform.’ He frowned. ‘But how many will remain is unclear.’
She bowed her head. Rand had given voice to one of her fears—Astrid’s scheme was unravelling quickly.
‘How many have left?’
‘Three that I noticed, but Sigmund believes they’ll return in time. Little by little.’ He gave a smile. ‘Your swineherd does like a good gossip.’
‘Has Sigmund properly thanked you for your timely intervention?’
He laughed. ‘Sigmund has stopped threatening to run me through. I take progress where I can.’
‘What you wanted…’ she said carefully, willing him to confide so that she could find a solution to what she considered to be the growing peril. If she could do this, then maybe Astrid would finally acknowledge that she was capable of contributing more than simply her decade of pretence. She hated that disloyal thought, but it lingered in her mind. ‘What I think you came here for was his friendship.’
‘Yes, I suppose.’
‘Only suppose?’ She tilted her head. Something was wrong. She needed to figure out a way to make it right. She knew of the huge debt she and Astrid owed him. What good was mouthing words about life debts if one was not prepared to follow through? ‘What else does your king require from you?’
‘You were right—Maer and I must not have been as close as I feared,’ he said quietly, altering the subject. ‘You have given me greater comfort than you can imagine with that simple observation.’
She examined her hands rather than meeting his serious gaze. ‘None of my business what passed between you two. It was wrong of me to bring up the past, but I couldn’t think of any other way to make my point. Blame it on the smoke and the confusion.’
He shrugged. ‘It happened, though. Although I loved my wife dearly from the first instant I spied her, I knew deep down I’d behaved badly towards Maer in allowing her to find out the way she did about my relationship with Bridget. I should have explained before she confronted me, despite Sigmund telling her to stay away.’
Rand in this mood was easy to like. Svanna reminded her heart of the promises she’d made while she washed—that she would not become attached to him, that she would not be attracted to him, and that she would maintain a friendly distance—because if she allowed herself to be attracted, she might start believing that those old dreams might have some basis in fact. Perhaps it was an overreaction due to her girlish fantasies. Or perhaps a reaction to her brush with death in the hall. Rand was a man with the same sort of appetites as Turgeis, but a growing piece of her heart kept screaming that she was wrong, and Rand could offer more.
‘If it makes you feel any better, I doubt he’d have approved of any man Maer was attracted to,’ she said to keep her errant thoughts under control. ‘He is not overly fond of her husband either. Swears Karn can be headstrong and stubborn.’
‘Did Maer make a good match?’
She pressed her hands together and concentrated on the waves. Confessing that she envied the relationship Maer shared with Karn would be inappropriate. She had thought him shallow before he’d returned with Maer, but the love and friendship Maer had with Karn was something she doubted she’d ever experience. ‘They’re well-matched. Agthir prospers under their joint rule.’
‘I met my late wife and fell harder than I ever thought possible,’ he said, continuing as if she’d kept silent. ‘She was unlike anyone I’d ever met. Our souls called out to each other and everyone else faded. I should have broken with Maer straight away, instead of having her discover us in an intimate embrace. I’m pleased she found someone better.’
A tight knot formed in Svanna’s stomach. He’d forgotten the girl he’d flirted with that long-ago night. She had been next to nothing to him. She should have allowed the memory to crumble away like the flowers had. And she knew she could never mention it, or why that long-ago encounter meant that even today she found comfort in his company. Ultimately, the love of his life was his late wife, and she meant nothing to him.
‘How did your wife perish?’ she asked. ‘If you don’t mind speaking of her.’
She quickly glanced at him and saw that his scar stood out purple on his ruined face.
‘The birth was hard. No one thought our little girl would live more than a few days, despite my intervention of clearing her mouth and getting her to breathe. Then Bridget caught a fever and things became much worse.’ His voice had a slightly hard edge to it and bleakness filled his eyes. ‘As Bridget lay dying, I cried out to the saints and all the angels to take me instead, but they laughed at me and took her.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘My life is better for Bridget having been in it.’ The way he stood as if he expected to parry a blow tugged at her heartstrings. ‘But my world became a truly bleak place without her.’
‘What happened to the baby? Did she live?’ she said, knowing she shouldn’t ask about his daughter. She needed to keep her distance from his life because there was no future for them, but all she could think of was the motherless little girl and how she should have someone to look after her. She dismissed the notion as fanciful.
She should make an excuse and leave, but her feet refused to move. The desire to reach out her hand and touch him in sympathy grew within her, but she suspected that he didn’t want that from her.
‘She didn’t travel with you.’
