He caught her chin between his forefinger and thumb. His eyes loomed large. And she knew her heart beat faster. She could almost taste his mouth. ‘I can take the watch now.’
She instinctively wet her lips. ‘Take the watch?’ Her voice sounded more smoke-infused than before.
His hand released her chin. ‘It is what you have been doing, waiting and watching in case you are needed. Go get cleaned up. I will fetch you if there is any news. You deserve that. You did enough today.’
Her eyes pricked from tiredness and relief. He’d noticed that her demeanour of self-reliance was a façade. She hadn’t expected that, particularly not from him. Astrid and Maer seemed to think she was indestructible. She tried to appear that way. It was how her mother had been until she fell ill. But she always knew deep inside that she wanted someone to understand without her having to put it into words.
‘Why?’
‘If not for your quick thinking, catastrophe. You believed that lad. You took a chance on my men. And me. That took raw courage.’
‘What?’ She tried for a laugh but it came out strangled. A coughing fit racked her frame. ‘Asking for your help? Hardly brave.’
‘Accepting my help and going in to rescue your…mother the instant the door was unblocked. Such daughterly devotion.’
Svanna put the empty cup down. After what he’d done and the vow he’d supposedly made to kiss the Queen’s daughter, he deserved the full truth about what had happened all those years ago in Agthir.
‘My foster-mother rescued me once. I owe her a great debt.’
He tilted his head to one side. ‘But…you do not deny being called Ingebord, the Queen’s daughter, in Agthir?’
‘I understand you and Maer were close once,’ she said, trying another way.
His brows drew together. ‘A shipboard flirtation which fizzled out, in part because of Sigmund’s disapproval.’
‘Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you obviously were not that close. You didn’t know the most important thing about her. I suspect you fulfilled that vow of kissing Ingebord years ago without realising it. She prefers the name Maer now, but she was born Ingebord.’
His mouth open and shut several times as the realisation of Maer’s true identity washed over him. She felt almost sorry for him as he tried and failed to speak.
‘Maer is the Queen’s daughter?’ he finally spluttered out. ‘I heard the saga which tells of how the King stayed his hand because of Ingebord’s plea. I saw her—you—at a distance a long time ago. Maer, my Maer, had brown hair, not golden. The girl in the story had golden hair.’
‘You finally have it. The usurper had sworn to kill her. I was merely the companion, the chosen friend. The Queen had me impersonate Ingebord because she wanted her daughter to escape. Afterwards, telling the truth would have resulted in my death. I owe her my life many times over.’ A huge weight rolled off her shoulders to finally give voice to the truth. ‘Luckily, not many people had seen Maer. Theskaldthought the line about the golden hair was the perfect sentimental touch to the usurper’s saga.’
He nodded. ‘The continued deception meant the Queen kept you both alive.’
‘Hard to guess who had the easier part. Maer travelled the wide world while I concentrated on never putting a foot wrong or making an accidental slip which could expose the entire scheme.’
He stared at her for a long time. ‘Why are you telling me this?’
‘Because it no longer matters, or it shouldn’t. But after what you did today, I thought you deserved to know, particularly as we share a common enemy.’ Everything swam in front of her and a bone-aching tiredness swept over her. She knew she couldn’t get up, even though staying here next to him was a poor idea. ‘You can stop feeling any sense of misplaced guilt over the way you treated Maer, if that is what you are feeling. The fact that she never told her heart’s secret speaks volumes to me about the nature of your relationship.’
‘Are you normally this blunt?’
She put a hand on her forehead. ‘I’m not usually this forthright, but you earned the right to know.’
‘I’ve found our conversation most intriguing.’
She struggled to stand but abruptly sat back down. ‘My legs feel like they are made of liquid. Whatever the priest gave you must have been strong stuff.’
‘Close your eyes.’ He put his cloak about her. ‘I’ll keep watch, Svanna the Steadfast, and will wake you should the situation alter.’
‘Kind…’ Her eyes fluttered shut as warmth seeped into her bones. He believed her and it seemed to count for something, but she knew she could not confess the true reason for her terror of Turgeis and what he would do to her if he could. Her nurse had implied that she bore much of the blame and if Rand thought so as well, she knew that the faint flickering of hope would die. Some demons she faced on her own.
* * *
Rand settled himself down to keep watch. The sleeping draught had worked well on the woman who had once been a princess. All the saints and angels knew she required it after what she had done for Astrid.
In the dim light he watched the smudges her long lashes made against her soot-grimed skin. He shuddered to think what she must have been through, posing as the Queen’s true daughter and knowing that it could easily come undone. It also made it far more unlikely that she’d had anything to do with setting Drengr on him all those years ago.
