“Well… I hadn’t seen you as anything but his younger brother until last night, so he was kinda right. Had you called me over the phone and asked me out, I don’t believe I would’ve said yes.” It stung a bit hearing that, but I could also see it from his point of view. I hadn’t been an adult for long, and hewasMike’s best friend.
“He meant that you were into certain…things,” I said, letting him piece it together himself.
He laughed loudly. “Oh man, I truly did scar him for life, didn’t I?”
“Maybe just a tiny bit,” I said with a grin. “He told me you were into BDSM and the only reason he knew was because he’d walked in on you.”
“But you’re into it too, so was it something he didn’t know about?”
Time to be honest. “I um… thought it would be best that I researched it before asking you out.”
His expression turned surprised, then worried. “Wait… you’re not into it?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so, no. But I’m willing to try it out to be with you,” I quickly blurted out the rest. There was no way he was getting rid of me now.
“I don’t need that in a relationship, Pete. I needed to dominate someone to escape reality and then it became something I had control over, and I craved feeling in control. Truthfully, I’ve felt the need less and less after my father passed.”
Mike had told me about his father, but I figured Jackson wouldn’t need my condolences over a man he’d never cared for. “So, you’re not in the community anymore?” I asked.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be truly out of it, don’t think I ever could. The need could show itself when I’m stressed out or sad. But I know I only want to continue it with you there with me, so if it isn’t for you, then it’s not for me either. If we start dating, you’re my priority.”
I smiled, feeling so unbelievably happy. “If we start dating?”
“Well, I want to see where this thing between us can go, but I’m also realistic. This is very new, Pete. And I have to be honest, I fear you might have this fantasy about me and I won’t be able to live up to that.”
I guessed that was fair. I believed I would have the same worries had our roles been reversed. “I can understand that. I’ve had this crush on you since I saw you for the first time, and you still need to catch up with me.”
“Since then?!” he looked shocked, but then sort of smug. I hit his shoulder playfully and he laughed. “Now I definitely fear I’ll disappoint you.” I heard his words and figured there must’ve beensome truth to them for him to mention it twice. What was it about him he feared I wouldn’t like?
I figured we should move back to what was most important at the moment, so I asked, “What do we do now?”
He shrugged. “We do whatever feels natural.”
I cocked my head. “Natural?”
“Yes. I don’t want us to force ourselves to take things slow, or fast, if that’s something neither of us wants. I want us to be honest and do whatever feels right. Starting with us getting to know one another.”
I pointed to where he was still kneeling in front of me. “Let’s start with you getting up from the floor,” I teased. He chuckled and complied, slowly easing up and sitting next to me on the couch. I felt brave in that moment and took his much bigger hand in mine. It felt right.
My phone buzzed and I groaned. I already knew who it was. I looked at the table where it was lighting up, and yep.Dylan. I answered, a little annoyed but Dylan deserved to know I was still okay.
“Hey, Dyl,” I greeted cheerily.
“Hey, you doing better?”
“Much better,” I said, and I meant it. I’dneverbeen better.
“That’s good to hear. Listen, your mom went over and dropped off food for us and with you not being here…”
“Shit. What did you tell her?”
“That you had a work assignment that went bad and stayed with Jackson for a few days.” Dylan luckily knew what I truly did for a living, and with my mom working for the community too, she would understand. Had I hoped she wouldn’t find out? For sure. She’d wanted me to wait until I was twenty, like she’d done herself. But I’d promised I would be careful, so she’d agreed to let me start officially when I turned eighteen.
“Thank you. Was she worried?”
“A little, but it comes with the job, she said.” I could tell by his tone thata little, actually meanta lot.
I sighed. “She didn’t ask further questions?” I knew she must have. My mom had likely asked any ghost she could find and hounded them for information on me. Luckily, there were no ghosts in Dylan’s apartment. I’d made sure of that.
